Feeling More At Home

 

Michael:
has been at work for 4 weeks! That feels like a nice little benchmark to hit. It's going really well. The boys love that his schedule is pretty standard now and they don't have to keep relearning it all the time! He took me on a date Saturday and it was so fun. A bike ride on the trails that run from our house, by the elementary school, to the Power Trail, which is a bike trail that connects just SO much of Fort Collins. We rode a couple miles up to a farm-to-table restaurant and then walked around afterwards to check out their gardens and chickens. They also had lots of other stores around to look at, and it was such a cute area. Then we rode our bikes on home through the trails again, with tons of bunny sightings and chatting about all the things three boys don't really let you chat much about. Dates are the best. He also took us all to tour some gardens earlier that day, and then we went to a local ice cream parlor that a neighbor had given us a gift certificate to. It's been around for a while. Westin won with his Huckleberry ice cream order, so delicious. Everyone wears masks here and takes social distancing seriously. So, even though we're finally getting out a bit more, there are always reminders that life is not normal right now. And I know we're all getting more and more anxious for knowing when it won't feel like that anymore.

Maddie:
had two afternoons this week where the boys played at our neighbor's house while Camden slept, and I painted away while watching Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist. Painting requires a special kind of show -- those ones that you don't need to give your full attention to but you need something going on to keep you company. Enter Fuller House. I had been listening to a podcast about book publishing because things are gearing up with my project with Kindal. That is honestly my number one motivator -- tied with the fact that Camden will soon be mobile -- in busting out projects as quickly as I can and then moving on to more important things. Kindal and I have spent countless hours for countless weeks on this book and I'm so excited to see it get off the ground soon. We're aiming to get it in Easter baskets next spring! Our date this week fueled my soul more than I can even communicate. We need to get better at weekly date nights. School has always been a hold up with that because I felt guilty paying a babysitter so often. But honestly, we're to the point that I'll feel guilty for being the mom that comes around who doesn't go on date nights more than I'll feel guilty about the babysitting investment. Priorities, people.

Westin:
is a bike-riding, connect-four playing, reading machine! He doesn't want to read books to me, but I don't want him to lose all his awesome progress. So, he reads a book to me to earn 5 games of Connect Four. He also wins more of those games than I'd like to admit. We're to the point that if I'm playing Connect Four while thinking about furniture purchases and painting projects, he wins. But if I'm fully invested and thinking about Connect Four, I can usually take him. But he's five, so... not sure what that says about our future. We went to the library for the first time since March and the boys loved picking out some books. We'll probably go weekly again even though it'll just be returning and choosing books and no story times or hanging out. But it's something. Ok, I don't even know if I'm supposed to write this but I'm going to because I keep laughing about it. Westin has reached the age where we're feeling like he should be fully independent in the bathroom department. He's a perfectionist, and hates change, and hates when his hands (or anything...) is dirty, so... he'd much prefer an assistant rather than taking care of business by himself any day. But we just told him what needed to be done and that he's on his own for all jobs that involve toilet paper now. Well, the next few days he'd get really grumpy every time he went to the bathroom. "This is the worst... I can't believe I have to do this..." (Similar to many, MANY thoughts I've had while changing diapers or doing exactly what he's doing. FOR THREE LITTLE BUMS A DAY, EVERY DAY, just saying.) As a side detail, Westin is super birthday-minded. Always talking about whose is next, what dessert he wants, what meals we'll eat for our birthdays, etc. So, yesterday, during a moment of particular grumpiness coming from his unwanted independence, I heard Westin yell from our bathroom, "Ugh, this is the worst... -- 'Mama, when it's my birthday you have to wipe my bum!'" And we just died laughing. 

A new family birthday tradition?

No.

Bennett:
Oh Benny boy! You love cooking with me, so much more than usual lately. Yay for kitchen islands, it's all I dreamed it would be. Especially if it had barstools. But I'm learning my purchase cycle is a week or two of really thinking about it, a week of searching, then a week of knowing what I want before I actually just bite the bullet and buy it. Give or take a few weeks for each step. So, no bar stools yet BUT he loves pushing a chair over to the island. We've made cookies every Sunday because our ministering lists are pretty long and those boys are huge helpers. Who needs to get the Bosch out if Bennett holds the mixers while Westin holds the bowl and I just keep adding ingredients? It's great! They're in it for the cookie dough and honestly, same. Bennett loves the bunnies in our yard, loves playing at our neighbor's house, loved going on a date to Costco with daddy on Saturday, and loves to bring me tons of rolly polys (potato bugs, if you're from Southern Utah and I am) and have me count them with him. Counting is a slow and steady milestone with this cutie. I just want to put it on record that I've given more patience than I ever knew I had to this teaching process. Let it be known, this is one of my current shaping experiences. He calls seven "eleven" every time and misses 8 and 9, but other than that we've about got to 10. I think we're learning what else is going to maybe come with his speech delay but I just don't want to do anything more than our best efforts each day with lots of love right now. We can learn more about what we need to worry about later, but for right now, families are all just doing what they can to get through this weird time.

Camden:
my cute baby boy. He screamed from his crib because he'd rolled onto his stomach and hated it and couldn't get back over this week. His mobility is really behind but I look at his progress and not where he's at, and I see steady progress all the time. It's just slow and on his own timeline and it's ok. Bennett looked at some family photo albums this week and thought all the baby Westins were baby Camdens. They really do look so much alike, I love it. Camden started a new thing this week where he just screams when I try to nurse him before bed, so I don't, and then he cries and cries at midnight for a late night feeding. Uncool. I'd be happy to drop the bedtime feeding and be down to mornings only, but if he's going to wake up in the night again I'd rather he just nurse before going to bed. But slowly and steadily we're finishing up our nursing journey.

How many times have I said slow and steady in this post. Speaks volumes about this stage of life.

The House:
I want to start documenting what we're accomplishing step by step, so the house is getting weekly shout outs now! First two weeks: All kitchen cabinets painted and shelves lined. Next week: Right side of family room done. This week: Finished the left side of the family room shelving and cabinets, plus the trim on that side, plus the walls of my entry way and hallway and part of our mudroom. After I paint the wall behind the shelves, reinstall them, paint the final wall and some trim, the kitchen/living area will be almost done! We also ordered a table/chairs for our eat-in kitchen spot, and a bed for our room. Our room is the most un-done spot in the house -- currently just a mattress on the floor and we're living in the guest room, which is where all our bedroom furniture landed in the move.

Oh moving. It's a process... just so, you guessed it, slow and steady.

Butterfly House

Wannabe Stowaway on Camden's Stroller Wheel

You can barely see it, but the sun looked like such a crazy red dot with the smoke from the fires near us.

This salad was so good! I ordered it all because the menu said it had pickled watermelon rinds in it,
which had me like whaaaaaat,
but then those weren't in it and I never even noticed because it was so tasty.

NoCo Hikes Begin

Michael:
had a good week at work. I asked him if 0 was immediately quitting and finding a new job because it was horrible and 10 was all he'd ever wanted after residency, where did things feel with his current set up. And he said it's a 10, and there's nothing he'd want to change. Oh man, all the searching and interviewing and weighing options and finding options, and all the years he worked, it was happy to hear that! I'm so grateful he had a family-friendly residency program and found a great job. Things work out step by step, day by day. It takes lots of work + faith, and both play huge roles. He's got a Fort Collins nursery on our Google Calendar for Wednesday... let the plant life begin. We also went on a hike together on Saturday at Dowdy Lake, in the Redfeather Lakes area. We love that we have huge to do lists full of hikes, restaurants, and things to see around town! Fort Collins has a lot going on and it's feeling like such a fun find of a city.

Maddie:
got the news this week that school is officially online and not part time, for at minimum the first quarter. That makes me sad for Westin. We haven't talked much about it, he knows coronavirus is changing things and that school is in the future and will be on the computer until "they find a shot that can make us better from the coronavirus", and he's doing well through it all. I'm bummed to not have more of a routine take shape with school, and to not have Westin meeting new friends and having that fun environment. But as we wrap up some painting projects (hoping to finish our living room/kitchen/entryway by next Sunday, which will allow us to unpack our last few boxes) I think it sounds fun to get into a schooling groove with Westin and Bennett. My wrist is worse than it's ever been, and I'm so sad it's not going to get better on its own.

Westin:
loves playing with our neighbors grandkids over our back fence, and loves helping me in the kitchen. He wants to make ratatouille after watching that movie, so we'll probably test that out this week. He's such a good big brother to Bennett. He would play Connect 4 all day every day if I could play Connect 4 all day every day. And if I only halfway play, he beats me. Let's be real, he beats me pretty often when I more than halfway play. I love his concentrating face. One of his prayers this week said, "thank you that we could move," and that made my heart burst. Even with all the busy grown up projects around, he's having fun here.

Bennett:
was in heaven when we ate dinner at a friend's house tonight -- Staci from Indiana. So funny that she knew Michael's family growing up. Her kids were so nice to Westin and Bennett. Soccer, running around, a golf cart ride, ice cream with sprinkles, and a fun low country boil for dinner. Bennett was super happy they had a dog to play with, too :) We're working hard on his counting, and on saying prayers by himself. I need to learn more how Bennett learns. He's a quick learner with all things physical -- potty training, balance biking, etc. I wouldn't call him fearless, but definitely courageous and natural with things like that. But I'm trying to figure out his learning style for letters and shapes and numbers and all that. He's all registered for school as well, which means that his Individual Education Plan will transfer from California and we should hopefully connect with a new speech therapist soon. I just hope it's not all online too, though I think it most likely will be.

Camden:
peed on me twice today, and he probably won't appreciate me leading with that when he scrolls through this someday. But seriously? He has gone weeks, months? without doing that and peed on me through two diaper changes today. Felt almost intentional. Probably because we do lots of more hands and knees time when we look at books and he's not a fan, so he's gotta communicate that how he can. Westin wasn't crawling at this age either. I think physical milestones are often more to do with personality than physical ability. He's such a cutie and has started giving the best kisses and hugs. Putting him down smiling and laughing for his naps is still my favorite part of each day. He's just so snuggly and sweet. He sleeps through the night 5 out of 7 nights, and eats once around my bedtime or super early morning the other couple nights. I think Toby the Dang German Shepherd was ruining our sleep more than I even realized. For four years. I'm more annoyed about it now than I ever was then. Except probably not -- I got pretty annoyed then too. Kitty lives a much happier life with way more outside time here. But then this week another cat came in our house and acted like she lived here too and that was a little wild. Bennett said, "Whoa, not my meow-meow!" when he discovered her. So, maybe Kitty's open door policy in the mornings needs to be changed.

Westin's basement restaurant serves lots of juice, macaroni and cheese, and all the other foods in the world. According to the imaginary menu that he read to me.

Right side cabinets done!

Right wall done! White and grey.

Now to find energy to do all I just did again, on the left side...
that's about a 12-hour process.
I'm actually not (super) sick of the painting, but I never want to use my sander again.

Brothers.

One of those mom moments... when you decided to be super awesome, and stop painting and make a fun "chef of the week" style snack. So I put peanut butter on celery, and gave them raisins and chocolate chips and pretzels to make butterflies. Then Bennett cried because the wings kept falling down and then he cried harder and harder about it until finally I went and hid in my room and he stopped crying and had fun because there wasn't a mom around to cry to. Sometimes the nature of the job just kinda stinks.
But he also spontaneously says "I love you, so much" over 10 times a day so it's for sure net positive overall.
Most days.
:)

Ugly bread again! Same ugliness! So, must be a high altitude deal.
Time to test some recipe tweaking.

Camden's room is my favorite room in the house because it's the only room that's 100% done.
He has the dresser and bookshelf I refinished in Indiana, our crib, our IKEA futon which I love the pattern of when it's folded up, and the mobile/wall hangings/art that I made in Indiana.
Michael pulled out this little fur rug he had from his souvenirs and I love that it makes a little reading corner.

Loving sprinkler time over the back fence. My neighbor sent me this picture.

Dowdy Lake

Ok Bennett, stop looking 14.

This was right before Camden ate rocks.
It's super annoying when kids don't want what you cook for dinner.
Because they willingly put fist fulls of rocks in their mouth.
I can't complain though, my kids are rock star dinner eaters.

Michael has an app that tells him what any plant or animal is.
He always says "Gotta catch 'em all" when he uses it.
It's Michael-style pokemon.

Back to (New) Reality

Michael:

has two weeks of real life under his belt! Not that everything up to this was fake life. But, it wasn't real life either. Residency... *shudder*. He is feeling really really grateful for where we ended up, who he ended up working with, the neighborhood we ended up in, etc. etc. So many pieces fell into place in such a wonderful way. Getting settled takes time but we're chipping away at it. I'm grateful to be married to such a hard worker. He has an evaluation at work this week, and is still getting used to things, but overall is feeling good about getting in his groove!

Maddie:

paints until midnight most nights still, but I have stopped painting while my boys are awake. That was impossible during kitchen days because we needed to have a functional kitchen, but now I just paint post-bedtime. It's significantly slowing down progress, but significantly less stressful. We put the handles up on our kitchen cabinets this week and it made me really happy. I love seeing something in real life that I've been seeing in my head! I was feeling mom guilt through all these projects so I decided to double down on two goals -- counting for Bennett, and bike riding for Westin. Sometimes I need to choose something measurable in this mom life or you can just get lost in the "what did we even do today" thing. But you're too tired for the answer to be nothing, but you're kind of unsure of what the answer actually is... so. Bike riding. Counting. I also registered both boys for school so soon we'll learn what that means for our weekly routine this fall.

Westin:

is a bike rider! After grandma and grandpa left he decided he wanted to really learn because "when I ride to Sprouts with Grandpa he is FAST so I need to surprise him and keep up when we go get peaches!" So if you read this before your next visit, pretend you didn't :) Because he took off after just a few walks with help down our cul-de-sac. Now he's doing so well! It's so fun! His bike pedal keeps falling off and we need to figure that out. He tipped over once when it happened and it was super sad. He's also sleeping on the top bunk of bunk beds, and once this week he showered by himself instead of taking a bath.. who is this grown up?!? And why isn't he cooking his own dinners yet? Kidding. He'd probably be thrilled by that opportunity, honestly.

Bennett:

is such a sweetheart. I spoke on the phone with a speech language pathologist this week and was describing some of his habits and disposition, and she said "He sounds so sweet," and I just thought, oh if you only knew. He loves to help me feed Camden. When we went out to eat this week he broke off pieces of his kids meal all throughout our lunch and helped me keep Camden happy. It was adorable and honestly super helpful. He loves his bunk beds too and even took a once-in-a-blue-moon nap this week just because he wanted to sleep on the top bunk while Westin was doing his quiet time in a different room. So cute. He's been playing extra rough lately and sometimes it's too much for Westin. This kid is a bruiser. He's working on counting and he likes helping me play Connect Four with Westin. He also loves pushing a chair over to help me cook -- we need to get barstools! But I have decision fatigue with furnishing our rooms. Toooooo many decisions. 

Camden:

is whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny, I love him. But oh my goodness, the whining. He got used to having full-time caretakers around here when my parents and Michael's parents came back to back. Now that we were back to mom life as usual this week he was NOT happy with me getting anything else done that didn't involve holding him. He also does not sleep in a car at all. We were going stir crazy Sunday so we skipped his second nap and packed dinner and drove up Poudre Canyon. I was sure he'd fall asleep on the drive up. He cried most all of it and most all of the way home, and was happy as a clam while we were there because he was held the whole time by me or by Michael. Stinker. Such a cute stinker though. We put everyone to bed at 6:45 when we got home. Our kids feel a little less independent here than in Fresno. They just don't spend as much time in the backyard as they did there, and they also want to be on the same floor of the house as us, so they don't spend as much time in their room. But also, their room is a disaster because I don't have a dresser for them yet, so, no one wants to spend time in a disaster. We'll figure it out. :)

Westin made himself a phone...

Complete with an Apple on the back.
Creative, cute... and sad. Oh phones.

Camden really wanted to help build the bunk beds.
But what he mostly wanted to do was eat the screwdriver.

And make messes.

And act offended when I didn't move screwdrivers any closer to him.

The longing face of a non-crawling baby.

Woohoo bunk beds!

These boys were so excited!
Bennett even took a nap the next day so he could sleep on the top bunk :)

The painting continues...

This window was meant to be black!
I love it.

On to painting the shelving in the family room.

Bennett wants to hold Camden sometimes these days.

One of these is more content than the other.

Westin left a big grape out in the sun for a while so he could make a raisin.

He ate it. Said it was pretty good.

Another sweet neighbor brought some coloring books for the boys,
and a gift card to a favorite Fort Collins ice cream shop.
People here are SO NICE.

Michael met someone in his office that is from Evansville,
and she brought him a "Welcome to Colorado" basket full of local goodies.
It's been fun to work our way through all the yummy things!

I painted the mirror from my grandma's vanity, and I'm going to hang it in my entryway after I paint the walls.
I love that it's the mirror that she saw herself in every day.
I have super clear memories of her humming while looking in it, and putting in her earrings,
and I would watch her get ready and sometimes look through all of her jewelry.
I love my grandmas so much.

Peanut gallery during Westin's bike practice.

This is big news over here!

Westin is SO excited to surprise his Grandpa Daetwyler next time he visits -- he wants to "show him that I can ride to Sprouts just as fast as him now, when we get peaches!!" So cute.

(And if you're reading this before your next visit, grandma and grandpa... act surprised :))

We went to a fun little restaurant by a pond on Saturday for lunch.
This is the first time we've sat down at a restaurant together in months.

Then afterwards you can fish off their little docks,
pay a $2 fee for them to clean your trout,
and take it home to cook! That's my kind of fishing.

BUT the first fish we came in contact with got our worm, and got away.

And THEN a storm came.
So they gave us a rain check coupon.
I love these afternoon thunderstorms in Colorado!

Fishing observers. We were sad for the fish. And the worm.
But... We also shared fish tacos for lunch.
So it's not like we can act too high and mighty about the whole thing.

A family in our ward invited us for pizza in their backyard on Saturday and we brought some cookies.
It was so fun to meet them! They had two little boys and all four of our boys had fun playing the whole time.
Camden had fun being held and fed bites of pizza. 

Bennett was ready and willing to let daddy pull out some teeth!

We made bread for our neighbor and it came out looking like this...
So we ate it. And she'll get a prettier one tomorrow.