Sunday, May 28, 2017

Here Comes the Sun

Michael:
is starting to feel the effects of driving his '89 Chevy S10 to work each day with no AC. Oh Fresno, you are heating up. We aren't ready. He has been flying his remote control helicopter for Westin a lot and I don't know which one of them likes it more, honestly. He's such a fun dad. Westin is all about dad time. He took our family to clean the church on Saturday and it was fun, I am so slow to remember to do things like that with kids. I'm grateful for Michael and his priorities.

Maddie:
went to a girls night birthday party at the Cheesecake Factory this week, and had a baby shower for a friend at my house. It was fun to spend time with friends and celebrate happy things. Westin loved helping me make a chocolate cake for the party, and he especially loved rearranging our furniture and having a wide open kitchen. We ended up leaving it for an extra day and ate our meals picnic style on the ground, and having many dance parties in the open space. I've been gearing up for some long road trips and family time in our near future and I'm so grateful for plans that keep us going.

Westin:
has started using his imagination so much. I love when he brings me his lego creations and tells me what they are. Sometimes I'm totally impressed with how his mind is putting them together and building what he sees. His favorite day is Wednesday because he's obsessed with the garbage man. Obsessed. He also keeps asking to go back to The Little Gym every time we get in the car. We had chocolate cake for breakfast one day after waving goodbye to dad and missing him. It's fun to have a little buddy to do things with. Chocolate cake for breakfast might feel a little depressing by yourself, but with your toddler it's a party.

Bennett:
is so incredibly sweet, and I know I always say that, but I cannot describe his sweetness. Something about his little disposition just melts my heart and I feel like he is such a special little soul. Just so pure and loving and I am so grateful for his presence in our family. He has been eating just once, sometimes twice, at night. He takes two, sometimes three, naps. He is content 95% of his life. He's more and more into food lately, though the overall amount he eats still seems so small. He's coming up on 8 months this next week. I can't believe that. I just had him! I'm soaking up this stage. I know that soon he'll be on the move and less content on the go and I'm just hanging on to sweet baby Bennett as long as I can.

When I'm in the kitchen it's not long before I hear a little voice say, "Oh, I'll help ya, mama. I'll help ya." Then he pushes a chair over by me and climbs on up. I love it.

Westin and Annie after one of their many Chick-Fil-A dates. These little buddies are so much fun to watch.

Bennett loves it SO much when anyone is down on his level. Party time.

He gives big, frequent, wet kisses and they're the sweetest thing.

My kids are hoosiers and they don't even remember Indiana. :(
 I'm kind of sad that Bennett won't even be able to say he was born in Indiana like Westin. 

Bath time is a party now. Thanks for the fun blow up tub, Shelley! Bennett kicks like crazy.

Ok, we're not even involved in this picture but my favorite people were in the same place this week
and I love them so, so much. 

Poor kid gets tickled so much. His laugh is too fun to hear, can't help it.

The dance-party ready kitchen.


"It's a fire truck, mama!" He has made some impressive garbage trucks too, and tractors. I love watching his mind work.

Monday, May 22, 2017

I Know I Can

Michael:
was on call Saturday but he was able to be home for a lot of it. On Saturday night I woke up when Bennett was crying around 2am and went to feed him. I thought, "I'm so glad Michael is getting some sleep during a call night, that's so lucky." I went back to bed and laid down and realized he wasn't even there. I was so weirded out, and realized that I didn't wake up when he left, so I texted him and asked when he got called in... 11:45pm. I was exhausted and didn't even hear his beeper, his truck, the garage, nothing. Weird. Kind of creepy. Whatever. But, he was home Sunday and that was great. He's such a good dad and husband. Residency has really required me to learn to be in charge of my own happiness (which is a good thing for any situation), and then when Michael is around it feels like such a huge bonus and so happy.

Maddie:
had fun on Tuesday night this week when I got a babysitter and went to Cinderella with friends. Michael is rarely home in time to go to things like that, and I had almost bought tickets a couple times but figured it was too risky in case he didn't make it. Then early this week my friend told me she had an extra ticket and I was so excited to get out of the house and go see a show. I went on a couple runs with both kiddos in my stroller for the first time and those were actually really fun. I mean except for the running part. Just fun because Westin and Bennett both really loved it. Later in the week I was able to talk to one of my favorite BYU professors on the phone discuss a situation (regarding a certain letter from last week) and I really appreciated the talk we had. She will forever be someone that I love to learn from. Without going into detail, I just want to always remember the feeling I had this week of having no regrets despite certain outcomes, and feeling proud of voicing something truly important to me.

Westin:
had fun skipping Bennett's morning nap on Friday and going to a class at The Little Gym close to our house. He loved it so much. We might need to sign him up for a round of classes this summer when it's too hot to do anything outside. He has always been a super cautious kid with any gross motor skill development, and I think this place might be good for him. He kept calling it Nursery and he loved being there. He started repeating the "I Know I Can" song with us this week and I love hearing that so much. There's a video of it at the end of this post. I love how Westin feels big bursts of emotions and then a few minutes later will look at you and say, "I cried." Just so matter of fact. He can be so sweet and so frustrating. Oh two-year-olds. I told him he should sleep in his big boy toddler bed so that Benny can come sleep in the same room in the crib. And he said, "No, baby can sleep there," as he pointed to the toddler bed. I said "No, baby needs a crib!" And he said, "No, baby has that." And pointed to the Pack n Play. Sorry Bennett, I don't see a successful eviction in the near future.

Bennett:
is a pro at sitting up and loves to have a better view at Westin these days. He's also super interested in Kitty lately. Today he sat on his own chair during Sacrament Meeting and he looked pretty pleased about it. Michael was there for constant back up, don't worry. Bennett just seems so tender and so sweet. He gives me such big open-mouthed kisses on my cheek all day and I just melt for him. To be honest I don't even know his night schedule right now. I don't look at my phone besides the time, I don't even open my eyes much during feedings, and I just do anything I can to help myself fall back asleep quickly. Some mornings I'm not even sure if I fed him once, twice, or three times. It's so different than what I was like with Westin. I mean it's not like I wrote down every feeding Westin had for a whole year, but ... oh wait, it's exactly like that. Times have changed. Babies are different. I'm different. It's all good. I love life with these boys.


Michael got 3 hours of sleep during his night on call this weekend, so this is Westin still managing to hang out with daddy even when Michael's exhausted. I'm just waiting for the day Westin is sick of Little Einstein's... ready to move on, guys. He loves it with all his heart.

The Little Gym


I've been re-watching some of The Wonder Years and I did a double take when they said this guy's name. He's a campaign manager for McGovern in Kevin's city during the '72 election. That show will always be a favorite of mine.


Cinderella!

We spent our Wednesday getting our car fixed, 3.5 hours with these boys there is no joke but I was actually super impressed with both of them. We got a lot of walking distance errands done, and Westin loved seeing our Corolla up high. Except he was super worried when they took the wheels off and didn't seem too trusting of what was going down.

She sleeps in such funny ways sometimes. And once in a while I consider waking her up just because that's what she does to me at 5am, usually on days Bennett is sleeping well. Oh Kitty.



Not our most modest walk. Westin lives for rides on daddy's shoulders.
He'd eat toes if we let him.




Sunday, May 14, 2017

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day! I love reflecting on all the women who have been examples to me in my life. We need each other so much.

Michael:
had this weekend off and that's always the best. We went on a family bike ride together on Saturday for the first time since Bennett was born. He did great in the trailer and it was a beautiful day! There are some food trucks that come to a little store near our house every Saturday, so it's the perfect ride for lunch. I don't know if a family bike ride to get tacos can be beat. He also made it home by 6:30 a couple times this week and that felt like such a treat! We love when we can eat dinner with daddy. He made breakfast on Mother's Day with Westin (kind of with Westin -- he's a distracted assistant) and we had fun watching a new funny show together on Saturday night. I love laughing with him. Sometimes he sends me before and after pictures of the things he does at work and I'm still just amazed that he knows how to stitch people up like that. The filter on my vacuum broke and he stitched it back up with serious precision. Not the same thing, but, you know. Still impressive.

Maddie:
had a letter to the editor published this week. I wrote it after receiving a mailer from my doctor that said, "Just because you're a mom doesn't mean you have to look like one." I was blown away when I read that and just could not stop staring at it. If I could have added to my letter (200 words limits are rough) I would have explained more fully that I was disappointed in the phrasing of that mailer and the fact that it came from my doctor, not disappointed in women choosing to do those things. That's another conversation entirely. The full letter is at the bottom of this post. Also, this week I was so incredibly grateful for friends. I rarely make plans that are dependent on Michael being home in time for something because I've learned that usually just sets me up for disappointment, but this past Friday I really wanted to go to a High Fitness Mother's Day party. I just finished my 4-week program to help diastasis recti, which means I could finally go back to regular exercise as of Friday. I made plans to go with my friend, and I was so excited. When Friday rolled around, Michael let me know that it was crazy at work and there was no way he could be home in time. I was disappointed but didn't want to dwell on it since it was out of my hands, but when I cancelled on my friend she told me that she and her husband would be over in a minute to watch my boys while I went. I tried to say no because I knew that meant giving up their Friday night, but she said "We're going to show up soon, so if you don't get on board this is going to be awkward..." and then they were at my house. It was so incredibly kind. I cried on my way to my class because I just didn't even fully realize how much I had been looking forward to getting out, and exercising again, and doing something fun without my kids (even though I love them very much...). I am still blown away by how kind that was. She had even already watched my kids that morning so that I could accompany a musical number at a funeral. I was just so grateful that day, a day like that during residency would be impossible without friends.

Westin:
is obsessed with Cafe Rio quesadillas and, I mean, we're all a little obsessed with Cafe Rio. He was excited when we went there for dinner this last week. Michael had to go to a dinner for work the day after he had been on call, so we always need to do something happy during those long stretches without daddy. We have a sweet angel who has sent us some residency care packages that have meant the world to us, and a Cafe Rio gift card cheered us up so much that day. He's obsessed with coloring right now and loves some new bath crayons and a new coloring book, and play dough time is the way I get anything done these days. Westin says "Tell me a story" many, many times a day. And typically that only means tell him the story about when a harbor seal almost bit daddy when he was kayaking. It really is a great story, guys. If you haven't heard it, you need to.

Bennett:
is too big. I want him to stay small much more than I ever remember wanting to freeze time with Westin. It's just true that you know how much faster things go the second time around. He's on a solid routine and I love that, it's nice that he's pretty predictable because I feel like I can make plans more easily that way. But whenever a routine feels solid with a baby, usually something will change soon! He loves trying new foods still -- this week he added smoothies, beans, sweet potatoes, and watermelon to the mix. He officially stopped sleeping in his swaddle sack on Saturday and I'm so happy about that. I had tried before and he did ok with naps, but never good at night time, so I kept going back. But we tried again and this time I'm not going back. He loved riding in the bike trailer and the cart next to Westin. Like, so much. It's so sweet to watch him smile at his older brother.

These boys make me feel so much big love.


One blinking. Then one picking his nose. We get what we get.

This sweet, busy man made Mother's Day weekend so much fun around here. I'm so grateful for him.

When we make the turn into our neighborhood we always hear a little voice back there say, "Hey, I need to drive!"

I love these boys. Michael snapped this picture during some backyard time and Bennet is just looking so big these days.

Westin is obsessed with some new bath crayons.

Michael made me a chocolate chip protein pancake breakfast for Mother's Day :)
Westin got the "O" of "MOM" and I poured some maple syrup in the middle for him to dip his pancake in. The next thing I knew, he had licked the syrup from the middle completely, and was asking for seconds. Of just syrup.

Bennett's first time riding in the cart by his big brother! This is going to make my life so much easier.

Little buddy.

And his first time riding in the bike trailer that same day. Such a big boy!

We have missed family bike rides sooo much.





The flyer I received from my OB that I wrote about in my Letter to the Editor.

Reverse side.

Haircut time! He does a good job sitting still if I promise him he can spray me after.

From Instagram:

Seven months of Bennett came and went last week, and he seems like even more of a sweetie these days!
---
No signs of stranger danger at all, just soaks up love and attention in all forms. He has the saddest little cry when I leave the room, though. Westin has noticed that it's fun to go make him happy in these moments, and I love hearing "It's ok baby Bennett, mama will be right back." Bennett has two teeth, likes trying new food, has started scooting backwards when he's on his belly, rolls a little, goes to sleep like a champ but still eats once or twice at night, loves holding all the crackly things, wants to be part of the party, and gave me his first big, slobbery kiss yesterday. I melted and I love him so much.
#bennettdae


The health challenge continues... I had to snap a pic of this lunchtime scene because believe me, it has never looked this colorful before.


Bennett rolls constantly now, never to get from point A to point B but rolls in the same spot wherever he is. He cracked me up in this bouncer seat while I was getting ready, just lounging.

I love stumbling onto little examples of Westin's play.

Every time we change Westin's clothes he says he wants "doggy ears" which means to not pull his shirt all the way off so he can walk around and bark while the sleeves hang down like ears. He came and found me while I was watching The Voice. I love that sweet little boy.

-----
I have been and continue to be surrounded by incredible women in my life,
and their examples are treasures to me. Here are a few who have been on my mind today:
I think about my Grandma Eliason so, so often. She helps me mother my children. Her example and her presence has gotten me through some low points in my life.

My Miner women make me so happy to be around. They are beautiful inside and out. My mom has mothered me through different stages of life and watching her be my children's grandma is so much fun. Jenny has taught me so much about motherhood as I've watched her raise my sweet nieces and nephews. Ali raises my kids with me every single day on FaceTime and thank goodness for that.

There isn't a single time I play the piano that I don't think about my Grandma Miner. Before any performance, like when I played for my friend singing at a funeral this week, I pray that I can just contribute to the Spirit of a meeting with the music, not distract from the Spirit of the meeting with any mistakes, and I ask if my Grandmas can please be near me. I never feel closer to Grandma Miner than in those moments. 
My Mother-In-Law has taught me so much in the recent years that I've known her. I am incredibly grateful to have married into the family that I did. Her example means so much to me and I'm grateful my kids have the grandparents they do.

Michael has such awesome sisters. I love learning from them and laughing with them. I always look forward to the times we get to spend together so much.


The Fresno Bee | May 12, 2017
This week I received a mailer from my obstetrician-gynecologist, who recently delivered my second baby. It was a Mother’s Day promotion, but it wasn’t celebrating motherhood.
The heading read, “Just because you’re a mom doesn’t mean you have to look like one.”
The reverse side detailed a “Mother’s Day Special Event” with Botox, facelifts, lip plumping and various treatments to apparently keep me from looking like the mom I am proud to be.
At seven months’ postpartum, this felt like a blatant slap in the face. My “provider” – of medical care, concern and advice – sent me a discount on “services” to meet impossible social standards that he is unabashedly capitalizing on.
To use Mother’s Day as a marketing opportunity to add to the chorus of voices telling us our motherhood is somehow a flaw is tasteless from anyone, but from my medical provider, it’s unconscionable.
New moms are undoubtedly one of the most vulnerable patient populations. I was disgusted by the way Dr. Wade Dickinson’s office took advantage of this in the name of celebrating women.
I’m proud to be a mom and look like a mom. Even if my doctor deems that as something he can fix.
MADDIE DAETWYLER, FRESNO
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