Wednesday, August 13, 2014


And so we reach 25 weeks. Sounds pretty substantial. Who am I kidding, looks pretty substantial. I gotta say, I did not expect to be rocking this much of a bump already. I received my first "are you sure it's only one baby in there?" comment, and then proceeded to almost cry before I realized that insensitive people are not deserving of my hormonal tears. I'm saving those for my Redbox night with The Fault in Our Stars. I also received my first, "You must be due soon!" comment, to which I said Thanksgiving, to which the kind stranger looked surprised and sympathetic. Lucky for her I was feeling particularly cheerful at this time, with a long pre-baby to do list on my mind, so I told her I felt like it was going to get here before I knew it. Then she looked at me with kind eyes which also seemed to say, "Girl, you have no idea where this is going, do you."

No. I don't. First time, people, how's a girl to know how big or how miserable it's possible to get? But let me tell you that the right side of my body has upped its game, probably because I publicly humiliated it a few weeks ago. I just called it out on its crap, and that pinched-nerve craziness went away after another week. Walking is totally doable again, hallelujah. Plus, I think I look significantly smaller when I'm not limping, so I've at least got that going for me now.

We took our Activity Day girls exploring around the grounds of the Indiana Museum of Art. Can you handle how perfect this little sign is that we found? The invasive human in me is so busy. I'm getting used to feeling him move (dance?) around in there, and I'm even starting to like it. To date, I am the only person I've met who didn't like that feeling when it started happening, so I'm not sure what that means. Scrooge of a mom. But now I realize that I really do miss the feeling when he goes a few hours without having a party in there.

These days are full of an array of emotions. Excitement to meet this baby. Worries about big change. Motivation to finish projects. Doubts about why I surround myself with such projects. Gratitude for a life inside me. Fear about becoming someone's parent. Wonderment about what my family will grow to be like. Sometimes I feel so ready to hold my baby boy, other times I wonder why Michael and I are adding another life to this already great duo that we have going on. I'm just being honest here, guys - I have a lot of feelings.

But I don't doubt that every single one of those feelings are normal, and felt before by so many, and just part of this only partially lit road that Michael and I are heading down together. It's all ok, you know? Even if it's a lot.

Let's do this, third trimester.

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