Sunday, June 25, 2017

Back to Routine

had a residency party on Saturday night to celebrate the residents who are finishing up. It was an outdoor family party at his director's house, and we had fun seeing the people he works with. His chief resident made a super funny movie about the year, and he also sent everyone a blog with a list of all the fun camping spots his family has discovered in the Fresno area over the last 4 years. We are going to have fun looking at that and exploring. I am so excited for Michael to finish this week at work and officially be a second-year resident. This last year has been.... .....
I just thought about how to finish that sentence for like 20 seconds, and I'm giving up. But someday when I reread this I'll feel the same way I feel now and that will be enough.

loved having my parents here so much. It was so nice of them to drive me and the boys back from Utah so that we could have an extra week in Cedar with them. They left on Wednesday morning and that was the start of the first day alone with my boys in 3 weeks. I had to relearn how to be alone all over again. Residency. I'm tired. Michael is tired. But life is really good, too. I just feel like post-vacation life always has some gloom to it, but post-vacation life in residency has me realizing just how much I'm alone with my boys and some days I am better at handling that than others. On Friday we met Emily and her girls for dinner and that was really fun, we missed them.

seems so old lately. For example, on our drive to church today he said, "We saw Lydia get baptized. When I am older, I will get baptized. You gonna baptize me, daddy?" And I looked at Michael and literally said, "Who is that old kid back there?" I feel like kids change exponentially after little plateaus. And his vocabulary just took off recently, as did his concept of self and others. He has started thinking about me and my world rather than just his own. For example, the other day I put him to bed and for the first time he seemed to think about what I was going to do once he was asleep. He said, "What are you going to do mama? Go poop?" I think he's learning there are things I like to do without him.

was sick for the first time this week and it made me so sad. Such sad little coughs, sneezes, nose bleeds?, and rough nights. Friday night was particularly bad, and finally I went and made the bed in our guest room and brought him in there because I was afraid Michael wouldn't be able to sleep at all if I kept getting up with him in our room (Bennett has been sleeping in my closet since we got back from our trip -- it's a big closet, don't worry, and I think the dark space gives him more sleep). That was still rough and I just don't know how people sleep with their kids; both of mine do not know how to sleep if I'm there by them. So after tons of awake time for the both of us, I put him back in his bed around 4:00 a.m. and we both got maaaybe a 90-minute stretch, which was the record for the night. He seems to be feeling better today, fingers crossed that keeps going. His kisses are my favorite thing right now. I have so many moments where I just think about Bennett and Westin and how grateful I am that they are here with me right now, living this stage of life with me.

His face lately when I say "Smile!"

Strawberry Jam time!

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