We loved having Grandma and Grandpa here this weekend on Grandpa's trip to get some work done at Michael's office. We went to the CSU gardens, walked around Fossil Creek Park, and the boys liked watching Grandma and Grandpa's shuttle bus on their way to the airport. Camden says he wants to ride a shuttle bus for his birthday :)
The boys are loving school and Camden is looking forward to starting, he can tell it's starting soon.
This weekend was fun. Friday night we got together with the Baileys, Schmidts, and Whitneys to let our kids run around while we tried to fit in some pickle ball. Saturday morning we drove with the Allemans to Tour de Fat and loved watching the bike parade with crazy costumes. Next year we totally want to ride in it, but I'm never on top of Halloween costumes so we'll see if I'm on top of Tour de Fat costumes! Then the older boys went with Michael to pick a trunk full of corn at the church farm. That night we had the adult session of stake conference and I gave a talk about creating Christ-centered homes. It was a really wonderful month studying and pondering that concept leading up to that meeting. I'm going to put my talk at the end of this post to remember that.
We went out for ice cream with a big group of people after that meeting and I was feeling really grateful for our landing spot of Fort Collins. I love the people here a lot. I love the city. I love my routines with the boys. It's a sweet time.
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| Cute boys by my favorite flowers at the CSU Gardens |
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| I just love these. I love the dark leaves and the perfect flowers. |
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| Practicing her peg leg from Uncle Ryan before she heads home for surgery. |
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| Tacos for lunch after lots of work on Wednesday morning |
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| Bike/Walk with friends |
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| Luna got to run errands with us and stay in the car for the first time, and she was totally chill about it. |
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| Apples, apples, apples. We've made a few rounds of applesauce with many more ahead! |
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| I can't get over their book club name, or the fact that they made shirts. |
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| I spy my two bike riders far ahead of me on our walk. They always come back or wait. |
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| "Mom! No one else was here, so Kitty picked me!" |
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| The boys had fun running around during pickle ball night. |
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| Tour de Fat had some awesome bike costumes, the boys loved watching it. |
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| Bennett is a candy magnet at parades, it's his secret super power. |
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| Corn harvest at the church farm with dad! They picked so much and loved just eating it raw. |
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| "Mom, I need a car like this for my birthday. Take a picture of it." He has 100+ cars but not one like this :) |
Fort Collins Stake Conference, Adult Session
8/24/24
Creating a Christ-Centered Home
Good evening, my name is Maddie Daetwyler. I’m from the Spring Park ward, married to Michael Daetwyler. I met Michael in the Salt Lake airport, with 78 other BYU students leaving for a summer in Jerusalem. Technically you can’t date at the BYU Jerusalem Center, and you’re also not forbidden to date. We all know BYU would never really tell you not to date. We spent that summer in the Holy Land together, then dated for two years before getting married. We moved to Indianapolis as newlyweds, where Michael went to dental school and I worked in marketing. We had our first son there, then moved to Fresno, California for Michael’s oral surgery residency. We had two more sons there. Near the end of Michael’s training we needed to decide where to move our family. We looked at a map and tried to find somewhere drivable to family, maybe a college town vibe, lots of outdoor fun, and preferably with a temple, an airport, and a Costco, probably in that order. So, we picked Fort Collins, but I’m making that process sound much easier than it was. We moved here in 2020, and we have loved it. We had our last son a couple years ago, and if you’re doing the math, yes, that’s zero girls and four boys. If you visit the Spring Park ward you’ll see our boy crew fits in very well there. Our boys are now 9, 7, 5, and 2, and that is why I was slightly amused to learn my topic tonight is creating a Christ-centered home. Our home is very loud. But, I’m grateful for this topic, and I’m even grateful President Alleman gave it to me an entire month ago because having the creation of a Christ-centered home on the back of my mind lately has shown me that is truly a focus I should carry constantly.
Creating a Christ-Centered Home
The term “Christ-Centered Home” will resonate differently with all of us. Our lives and homes are all unique, but we can all have a home that is focused on Christ regardless of our situation.
As I’ve been studying what that looks like, I think a Christ-Centered home starts with hearts, habits, and relationships that are centered on Christ. A home that houses those three things will naturally be Christ-centered.
Richard G. Scott said “regardless of … circumstances, you can center your home and your life on … Jesus Christ, for He is the source of true peace.”
And that is what I’ve been praying you’ll feel tonight – inspiration about how to make your own home more peaceful, and more connected to Christ.
A Christ-Centered Heart
So first, developing a Christ-centered heart. S. Mark Palmer said, “True joy comes when we focus on what is within our control and then center our faith and life on Jesus Christ.”
Focusing on what is in our control is key. This has been a year where my heart has experienced the principle of “mourn with those who mourn” more than I ever have. And very little has felt within my control. I have prayed pleading prayers more than ever before, as close friends have navigated losing loved ones, struggling with infertility, heartache of child health problems, and more. My heart has felt broken at times, which is the time a Christ-centered heart is most needed. I’ve had a heart turned to Christ this year out of a deep need for comfort when there is little understanding. Turning our heart to Him is a choice we can make daily. I know having a Christ-centered heart offers healing, and can create a home that offers peace.
Christ-Centered Habits
The second element I’ve been pondering of Christ-centered homes is keeping Christ-centered habits. Those basic habits often seem so simple that I forget their power. Admittedly, I can take my scriptures, prayers, and family gatherings for granted when I want “real solutions” instead. Studying tonight’s topic has felt like a tender mercy to intentionally refocus on what actually keeps my home centered on Christ, and recommit to basic habits I too often let slip. I know when my habits are focused on Christ, promised blessings are real. I am more patient with my children. I am more patient with myself. I feel happier. My burdens feel lighter.
Elder Scott said, “The prophetic counsel to have daily personal and family prayer, daily personal and family scripture study, and weekly family home evening are the essential, weight-bearing beams in the construction of a Christ-centered home.” I love his term “weight-bearing”, not weighty. Christ-centered habits of prayer and scripture study and family home evening are not given to us to be tasks or burdens. They’re opportunities to let us lean on Christ. They’re tools to lighten hearts, not burden schedules. They are weight-bearing pillars under what we carry.
I am lucky to work with the young women in my ward. I asked a few of them what they feel like makes their home Christ-centered. Almost every answer centered on one thing: I know my parents love me, and they love Christ. I love the simplicity of these truths. Becoming closer to Christ makes us better at loving each other. When I’m prioritizing Christlike habits, I’m quicker to step into my child’s suffering with them rather than dismiss their problems as small or preventable. When I send them to school after praying and reading scriptures together, I have a distinct sense of calm. In terms of “good, better, best,” there’s peace in knowing the best stuff has already happened that day. Even if that day’s scripture reading was less than peaceful or felt inconsequential. I know promised blessings come from effort and consistency, and Christ knows our hearts. I know a powerful habit is sharing with my children when I feel the Spirit, so that through recognizing my experiences they can begin to recognize their own.
Christ-Centered Relationships
My third and last focus of building a Christ-centered home is being intentional about Christ-centered relationships.
President Eyring said, “Building faith in Jesus Christ … is more likely to bring repentance than … preaching against … spiritual decline.”
I have very few memories of my dad preaching to me. I do have a lot of memories of staying up late talking with him about anything and everything, usually over Oreos and milk or on a walk. My dad showed up. I believe that is one of the simplest ways to really prioritize any relationship. My relationship with my dad is summed up to me in one specific experience during my senior year of high school. My dad was a radio personality in Southern Utah through all my years at home. Talk shows, news shows, commercials, everything a small-town radio guy does, that was my dad. During my senior year, he unexpectedly lost his job during an acquisition. This was really shocking to him and our family, and my mom was away the weekend it happened, taking care of my grandma. So it was just me and my dad at home that weekend, but I knew I probably wouldn’t see him until late that Friday night because of everything he was trying to wrap up at work. I couldn’t imagine all he was feeling and I remember being so worried about him. I was on the dance team in high school, and I went to the football game that night for a halftime performance feeling completely distracted. Then, as I lined up with my team to walk onto the field, I looked over and was surprised to see my dad waving to me from the fence. That typically super social guy was standing alone apart from the crowd that night, but he had come. Even when his world had unexpectedly crashed down, even when I would have completely understood him not being there, he had shown up to support me. I know my relationship with my dad has taught me about Christ. My dad loves me, He showed up for me, he always saw the best in me and still does. He has a testimony that we both have a Savior who shows up for us both. Sees the best in us both. I really strive to be Christlike in my interactions with my own children because of the example of both my dad and my Savior. I try to see my children the way Christ sees them. Respond to them the way He would respond. I often really short of that, but I know Christ can make up the difference.
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In summary, when I think of the way these three things come together, Christ-centered hearts and habits and relationships, I think of what a sacred gift it is to be able to create a refuge from the world.
I remember when I truly felt this principle. Our four years living in Fresno were extremely taxing. Michael’s residency hours were so long, and he’d often not see his kids for an entire week. There were long, long days, two rounds of postpartum life for me with very little support, and both of us felt completely spent by those years. When we packed up to move to Fort Collins, I felt a hopeful energy for a fresh start and better routine for our family. I didn’t think I’d miss much of our Fresno life at all. But when the boxes were packed and the U-Haul was loaded, so much more loaded than we anticipated, I walked back through our empty home one last time. And I cried and I cried. I realized it was within those walls that I’d found refuge during a physically, mentally, and spiritually exhausting stage of life. The simple steps to creating a Christ-centered home had turned that little house into completely sacred ground for me. I was overwhelmed with love for what we’d built there and how Christ had carried us. (I even tried to hug a wall…)
President Eyring said, “You will find some of your greatest joys in your efforts to make your home a place of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and a place that is permeated with love.”
I know we can create a Christ-centered home no matter what our circumstances look like, when we focus on what we can control and seek Him in our hearts, habits, and relationships. I know building a Christ-centered refuge is a gift, joy, and protection to us, not something to feel burdened by or any guilt or shame when we feel like we’re falling short. He loves us, He sees our efforts. He wants us to draw near to Him, especially in our homes.
