Finish

Not every New Year's Resolution has a finite finish line, but this one did. Maybe that's what made me feel even more pressure to complete it.

I decided to run that race on a whim with my new roommate, and after dropping that registration fee I was immediately anxious. I mean, once I pay for something, I have to follow through. Same reason why I eat all my fries [almost] always. And the almost is only there for my pride.

Fries may also have been a factor in why this resolution was made. So began winter training in Provo, which at times involved slippery runs south of campus and at other times involved lap after lap after lap in the Smith Fieldhouse.

Sometimes my really cute boyfriend (read: Michael) would come. Other times I'd go with my roommate. But mostly, I was solo and running more regularly than ever before in my life. It really did change my perspective.

I know a half-marathon is just so... half these days. Bars are getting raised all over, right? How is ultrarunning even a thing? But for me, this was a big deal. I still even think about it sometimes when I feel like doing something totally out of my comfort zone. Or when my handpicked-by-Kindal running playlist comes makes its way through the shuffle on iTunes.

I will always have a distinct memory of crossing that finish line knowing I never stopped running for 13.1 miles. I finished my race, finished my goal, finished something I had previously assumed I'd never do. 

Now if only people would hand me cups of water and ring cowbells for me while I finish other goals on my list.

Pictured: My sweet Aunt Tanya, who also ran the race that day.

---

This post is part of my 8-minute memoir series, following the prompts from author Ann Dee Ellis. You can read more about the project here. This series is an effort to keep writing in my routine, keep a record of life, and keep my spirits high. 

"I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say." - Flannery O'Connor.

Finally into Fall

Michael:

Had a busy week and didn't see the boys for a few days in a row. Westin was pretty bummed. Michael was in San Diego for the weekend at a conference, and Westin kept saying "there's daddy!" every time we saw an airplane. On Sunday he took Westin on an adventure walk and they also harvested our first carrots in our garden. Michael is such a good dad. I'm so grateful my boys have him.

Maddie:

Spent a lot of time this week on a new social media/marketing side job and it made me SO so happy. I didn't realize how much I needed something like that. I also ordered some supplies for a new hobby I'm really excited about, but more on that after I get some practice! Basically I've just felt more myself this week than I have in a while, and I think some weird switch flips when babies are done with that first year. Bennett's birthday is next week (what??) and I feel like some mental change is happening in me with that. After writing that all out I feel a little crazy, but, there it is.

Westin:

Was really sweet to me this weekend, which I was grateful for since we didn't have dad around. He is cracking me up right now because he's obsessed (OBSESSED) with Taylor Swift's Look What You Made Me Do. He asks for it constantly in the car and I'm ready for some change there. His other frequent request is Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam, so we keep going back and forth between those two songs in the car... it seriously just keeps me laughing. He loves reading books with us, loves hide and seek but yells to tell you where he is, could eat a million blueberries and all the applesauce I'd give him, plays a fake trombone as his signature dance move, loves to cook with me, and has started "reading" the books he has memorized out loud and I just love all of him.

Bennett:

Is almost one and I am just waiting for when I finally break down and cry about that, because I know it's coming. He goes to sleep like a pro. Sometimes wakes once in the night but is pretty much down to a morning and night feeding. I gave him cow's milk for the first time this week and he was ok with it. He hasn't had a bottle in a few months so I'm hoping milk in a cup is just an easy transition. I refer to him lately as my "magnetic monkey" because he is literally almost always crawling on me or toward me or giving me hugs. I love it and I wish I could always remember this stage perfectly. He has started semi-wrestling with Westin and they just laugh and laugh (until one or both cries, usually...) and it's my favorite. Until the crying :)

I'm trying to teach Westin that I don't want him in the bathroom with me. So. He opened the door and said "I'm not in the room, just here." Then proceeded to dance around and "doing some tricks, mama!" and he's just so funny. And gives me zero privacy in life, is this normal? I think it's normal. 

We snack all the way through 12:30 sacrament over here.

We made green eggs and ham because he's obsessed with the book lately. He repeats parts all the time and my favorite one is "Sam, if you will let me be, I will try them, you will see." He's always so sincerely frustrated with Sam in the way he says it and I love it.

Michael's drive by shot in San Diego.

Kitty came to our living room picnic but Westin didn't share any pizza. Only Michael is good at sharing with Kitty.

I let Westin choose what he wanted to do Friday night so we wouldn't miss dad too much, and he wanted pizza and Finding Dory. I was very much ok with that plan.

More from Michael's trip.

We had to repeat this school activity this week because Westin loved it so much and kept asking to do it again.

Sorry, Bennett. Still occupied.

Midwest Minute

We traveled to Kentucky for a visit to Michael's parents last week. It was such a fun week being all together, being back in the Midwest, and playing with Michael's mom and dad. Michael took the week off and came with us, and I was grateful to not fly with two kids by myself. We ended up boarding three different planes in Dallas on the way back because of electrical issues with planes, and I kept thinking how grateful I was to have him with us. 

Maddie and Michael:

Michael and I went to the Louisville temple during our trip and it felt amazing to be back there. I have so many sweet memories of traveling to that temple during our dental school time in Indianapolis. I turned 29 while we were there, and Westin was a good helper with all those candles. I have some before-30 items I need to finish up... and that kind of blows my mind. I still feel 17.

Westin:

Westin was so happy to be with Grammy and Papa, and did a great job sleeping in a big boy bed while we were there. When we got home we told him he could keep sleeping in his big boy bed at home now, and he said, "No, not until I'm bigger. I sleep in a crib." So funny to me. He is loving preschool at home with me each day and always wakes up from his nap asking if we can do school again.

Bennett:

Bennett was a great sleeper on our trip, did almost completely great on our plane rides (time stuck on the tarmac on the way back was kind of a struggle but it was the plane's fault and not Bennett's...), and is just so fun to be around. He climbed up the stairs at Michael's parents house, which really surprised me. He still army crawls instead of crawls, so pulling himself up onto things seemed like a big new step. Today he stood up holding onto our kitchen chairs for the first time and I could tell he felt big.

It was a fun-filled two weeks so the pics and captions will take care of the rest!

Temple Date with my forever love.

Tractor ride! Bennett fell asleep, sweet boy.

Growing boy! HIs thighs. They've been in a growth spurt since birth.

He has loved that hat for so long, and doesn't care at all when I tell him it's too small now.
We mixed colors for school one day and he was really into it. Those little hands pouring made him look so old to me.

Westin wakes up at 6:00 every day and I think it's because he has trained himself to not miss daddy in the morning. He loves to see Michael before he goes to work. Then lately he's been coming in bed with me and watching a show while we wait for Bennett to wake up. Not the best way to start our day, but... 6:00, you guys. 

He made this fruit loop necklace for school and wore it long enough for a picture, but then he wanted it off and on me. He said, "You wear it. Good, looks good... Go to church."

Bennett's favorite past time is unpacking anything and everything.
I think my diaper bag ranks highest on his list of messes he likes to make.

Those Trader Joe's carts, Westin is a fan.

Thank you, stickers. Your attention-grabbing ways are invaluable.

Such a happy boy even after some long travel troubles. We got a couple of miles bonuses because of all the issues, so that was nice.

These huge click-together crayons were so great. Target's dollar spot is my travel friend.

The best part of this splash park in Louisville was when Westin stood right over that particular spot with water shooting straight up his pants. His face will be in my mind forever. 

Bennett preferred a fountain foot massage the whole time and was so content.

We went to a little family zoo spot, like a petting zoo (without petting) and Westin was pretty intrigued by the Emus. He calls them Emos and I love it.

He could live in a swing all day.

My birthday cake helper. We didn't quite make it in one go. I don't know if I want 30 candles on the cake next year.... 

We saw 7 bucks down below a bridge during our walk and watched them for a while. We also saw a red fox, a raccoon, TONS of deer, and a couple turtles on our trip. I've never seen a red fox in person before, I loved it. 

Birthday bike ride! I'm so happy on a bike.

A stop at the candy store.

Halloween sneak peek! Plus a practice round of trick-or-treating at Grandma's house. He was into it.

We spent a day on the lake and Westin was super into Jet Ski rides.

Um, Bennett was born for a La-Z-Boy life. He was so content the second we put him in this and it was hilarious.

Tractor time with grandpa. He was actually afraid to drive it for a while, which was surprising... this kid and his cautious attitude is kind of unpredictable. But then he warmed up to it and could have driven it the rest of the day.

Westin's handprint in Daddy's handprint from when they made the water spout on the land.

Michael and Brighton.

Bennett wasn't too into riding Sequoia.

I felt so many emotions when I saw this sign on our way to Stake Conference in Evansville. I miss Indiana fiercely.

Michael loved this shot he got of Sequoia. 

Window seat is the best seat. Bennett would get so angry when we'd move him away from the window.

I forgot how tiring the stage is when almost all meals require a bath after...

"A is for Apple" is solidified in Westin's mind. No doubt about it.

I drew an A and gave him stickers and he did a great job tracing it. But we've tried the same activity a few times since and it's kind of a fiasco so, not sure why he had that stroke of genius our first time. He loves stickers so much.

So grateful I bought a little preschool curriculum because some of the activities leave me like, "Um, what?" But then Westin LOVES them, so... good thing I've got some direction here. The toddler mind is a difficult thing for me to understand. :)

So proud of his garden's zucchini! Westin helps me water each day and he's pretty into it.