Before We Grow

This week in letters.

Dear Bennett,

The time spent with you as the baby of our family was beyond joyful. You came with such a light and it just grows brighter all the time. You cheer us all up, make us laugh, keep me calm, and love so freely. I called you Baby Bennett for maybe an entire year and you'll always be my baby no matter how old you get or how many younger siblings come along. You are so in tune with others' feelings, even at such a young age. I have watched you do countless acts of kindness that show a sense of thinking outside yourself far beyond your two and a half short years. Oh how I love you.

I'm so excited to watch you meet your brother. You will love him and love holding him. You'll worry when he cries. You'll want to wrestle with him, but we'll manage that. You'll probably want him to hold Kitty and want to share all your toys and treats with him. You will be a wonderful big brother and I'm grateful he has you.

I'm sorry that I won't be able to lift you down into your bed for the next few weeks. It's my favorite moment together, every day. That feels like the saddest part of all the upcoming changes and it really breaks part of my heart. But I'm determined to find other ways to let you know how loved you are and to love you through these upcoming weeks of change. Thank you for loving our family so well and being such a bright part of it.

Love,
Mama

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Dear Westin,

You made me a Mom almost 5 years ago and I can barely wrap my head around how much has happened since then. I remember months of learning you in my little Indianapolis apartment, figuring out nursing together and motherhood and keeping each other happy. We watched videos together this week of when Bennett was little, and I couldn't believe how much you've grown up since becoming a big brother for the first time. These boys are so lucky to have you. You have such a wonderful spirit that loves to be obedient and understand the world around you. I know that you will be such an example for your little brothers.

Your prayers are my favorite. You always ask for such good blessings -- that we can have the Holy Ghost with us, that we can be kind, that we can obey Heavenly Father, that we can listen to the prophet, that we can find ways to help people. Your simple observances show your heart -- this week you told me that we are lucky to have a house with a room that has so much food, and maybe we could share some with someone who is hungry. You asked me if I could give you a baby bottle to keep in the car to give to the baby if he cries when we drive. You laugh when you make up stories of things the baby might do if you try to share toys or food with him while he's still so little. I love when you laugh.

Lately you wake up extra early, because your little soul loves to see daddy in the morning. You open your door and play with your magnets until he comes and gets you, and then you two have early breakfast dates. You love your daddy so much. When I look back on the hard parts of residency, I will always remember the way you want to understand his schedule and look forward to the time you'll have together, and the way you make plans for when he'll be home. The fun you two have together is such a joy to watch! You are special, sweet Westy boy. Thanks for making us parents and being the biggest brother to our crew.

Love,
Mama

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Dear Michael,

Who knew that a dad with five sisters would raise a house full of boys? I am so anxious about surgery and recovery and newborn nights, but those worries always fall back to thinking of you helping our boys and me through this transition time. They love you so much, and someday they will grasp even more fully how lucky they are to have a dad like you. I am constantly reminded how lucky I am to be married to someone like you.

Thank you for teaching our boys to be kind and to work hard. Sometimes the way you want your small amounts of free time to be spent with your kids just brings me to tears. I know so many that would want a break from their kids or be short-tempered with them with the schedule you have, but you are not that way. Thank you for taking care of us in so many different ways, especially when you're stretched thin.

I'm so excited to meet our next baby boy, and to see you meet him. Nothing grosses you out about parenthood more than a baby spitting up, so I'm sorry we're heading into months of that again -- but honestly it's hilarious to me to watch that be the ONE thing that grosses you out so much out of all the kid stuff. I'm grateful we are on the same team for life's hard stuff. And plenty of our hard stuff is the kind to be grateful for. I love you!

Love,
Maddie

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To baby boy:

Nine months sounds longer right now than usual. We've been together for almost a year! You move so much these days and if I had to guess, I think you're going to be big like your brothers. Your kicks and dances don't hurt like either of theirs did, though, so thanks for that little kindness.

You're coming to a house already loud and crazy with brothers. I think you'll love it. I'm sure you'll want to keep up with them in no time, but I'm excited for the next few months of slowing down with you, loving you, and helping you grow. I felt so much peace when I found out you were coming, and felt so sure that this was exactly the right time for you to come to our family. We already love you, and we're so happy to show you that and teach you where you came from!

Don't worry -- if Bennett wants to hold you as much as he wants to hold Kitty, I'll be closely supervising. You're gonna love it here.

Love,
Mama

Had to hit up Chick-Fil-A on cow appreciation day!
Those noses are very pig-like but luckily they weren't picky.

Westin had a fever on and off all that day, poor guy.
We're still trying to figure out what's going on -- he gets a stiff neck randomly.
It's so sad when kiddos don't feel good.

"Mom, can you buy me and Benny bunk beds? Do those cost money? Maybe I'll just build them with legos.
Look, I made them! And there's a sign in front of them: 'These are on sale!'"
You can learn a lot about yourself and what you sound like from listening to your kiddos...

Doctor visit sidekicks!

They were so good.

Westin's kids meal at Chick-Fil-A came with a coupon for a free movie rental,
so all week he talked about having a movie night and pizza picnic when daddy didn't have to go to work.
He chose to watch Toy Story 3 since that was the only one of the four he hadn't seen, and we had a pizza/watermelon picnic.
I've actually loved the slow and easy last two weeks with my boys. We're always so on the go so I worried what life would be like when I slowed down a lot. There are more fights with more home time, but also more of a different kind of sweet moments too.