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Last night he...

Studied and studied and studied. And studied. This week, he studied and studied. And studied. And ate a lot of chocolate chip cookies and the last Easter bunny of the Easter stash. So that he could keep studying.

Last night I...

Studied and studied....a new skill? No, I didn't study. But I appreciated Michael's studying, and told him so, and worked hard on this new found [developing and not quite yet a] skill. It makes me feel very...mature? And kind of like I have ADD. And no, I'm not crocheting a Yamaka.  The beginning stages are just a little deceiving.

And tonight we...

Are off to see and hear good music. With good friends. Then we'll get home so Michael can study and study...

And study.

Can you even handle the excitement that is our lives this week? This weekend looks promising though.

On Serving

On Monday morning, I opened my calendar at work and looked at what was waiting for me that week. I had completely forgotten about that 9am appointment, first on the list...donating blood. I've done this quite a few times, but for some reason I am always as nervous as I was at that first blood drive.

I tried to snack on something and drink some water before 9am caught up to me. I headed downstairs in my building and filled out the paperwork. The lady sitting across from me asked what I had for breakfast that day, and I immediately pictured myself in a confessional.

"Um, some graham crackers. And some milk." (Winced a little.)

What I didn't tell her is that's all I eat for breakfast every day, until my body gets in the mood for some fruit or a snack at 10am. Whoops. She gave me some peanut butter crackers and orange juice while she went over the paperwork. Next, the nurse checked both my arms.

"They always end up doing my right ," I told her. "Even though they always check both arms a couple times."

My veins hide. It's entirely inconvenient when needles are trying to find them, because needles don't stop until they find something. So that never feels good. I've walked out of blood drives with two bandaged arms because they give up on my left arm and go looking for more from my right.

I pumped my fist three times, and she sized up my right arm. "Let's try the left," she said. They always keep hope in the left, even after my disclaimer.

The left side was even less enthusiastic about getting involved, so it was back to the right. She put on a tourniquet and looked hard, rubbing up my forearm and trying to see some hopeful sign of a willing vein.

"I'm going to say no, today," she said. "I'm sorry - thanks so much for coming out, but I just don't think I should stick you today."

I was so surprised. No donation? Really? I've never had the easiest arms around, but they always eventually manage to give blood. It works out in the end.

But this time, my body wasn't prepared. I wasn't hydrated, I wasn't able to donate, and I walked away with both uncooperative arms, bandage-free.

Later that day the Boston Marathon started, and it didn't end how it should have. People were hurt, and people needed help. Runners ran to hospitals and donated blood, everyone did what they could to help the victims of the explosions.

Now, I know my blood wouldn't have gone to Boston. I know the Red Cross even said they had enough in Boston. But still. I realized that day, that even though my heart was willing to serve, I wasn't prepared. I wasn't ready. I hadn't prepared myself to help others, even in such a simple way as drinking enough water and taking care of my body.

I learned yesterday that I always want to be prepared to help others. I want to take care of myself so that I can help others. I want to make sure my family has what they need, so my family can help others have what they need. It felt so funny to be willing to do a good thing, to go and try to do a good thing... and then be told that I just wasn't quite prepared enough. It just wouldn't work that day.

So, not again. I want to always be prepared to help someone else. Maybe that means keeping enough food around so I can make a dinner for someone on short notice, or maybe just actually eating more than two graham crackers with a glass of milk in the morning.

Taking care of yourself is important. Because taking care of other people is important.

For Boston

Yesterday was yet another terrible day of checking news updates and trying to comprehend a tragedy. Senseless acts of terror are so hard to comprehend, because we will never comprehend how someone could do what they did.

I love Boston. It was my home for a summer, and my sister's home for much longer. She was so angry yesterday. The Boston Marathon is a holiday in that city, Patriot's Day, and she has so many good memories of watching the race and loving the event. I sat up last night just thinking about everything that happened, wondering how anyone could do something so awful. My heart broke for the runners, the supportive crowd, the families of victims. The last mile of the race was dedicated to the families from Newtown, CT that lost loved ones in the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting. Many of them were seated in the VIP area, near the explosions. Why did any of that have to happen? Why did they have to witness that?

I told Michael that I hate how tragedies can take away so much from what we have. They take away our safe spaces - airplanes, movie theaters, elementary schools, marathons. These horrific acts ruin so much in one day, then so much forever. It is easy to get lost in the evil of it all, and lose hope of there being any good in society anymore. So easy. But it's so, so important that we don't.

This was posted by multiple friends yesterday:

Image from here

I love this perspective from Mr. Rogers. From his mother. It is so true, and so important. These tragedies we have to witness, they are caused by evil people - sometimes one, sometimes many. But when you watch coverage of the events or hear the stories, there are always miraculous stories of these "helpers". They are everywhere, and they lose any concern for themselves in those moments and do anything they can to help.

I heard on the radio that some people finished the race and kept running. They ran to hospitals and donated blood. In Connecticut, teachers sheltered their children without any concern for their personal safety. The school received more cards and gifts than they knew what to do with in the coming days. Men laid down their lives for their loved ones in Aurora.

Of course these things don't erase all the pain. They don't make any of it ok. But they are powerful. They remind us that there is more good in the world than bad. The bad can be so, so bad. One person's decisions can change so much, inflict so much pain. But the opposite is happening, every day. People truly do change other people's lives for good. People stop tragedies from happening, and we hardly hear about them. People take care of people. People love each other. There is a lot of hate in this world, if you look for it, or if it finds you. But I believe there is more love. More good. More of us trying to do our best.

I wore these sweatpants with heart last night. I said prayers for everyone affected by the day - from victims and witnesses, to people at home who are just so tired of terrible, tragic news. We all need prayers.

Here's to Boston. A wonderful city that should have never experienced what it did. People will work tirelessly to make things right there, as much as can be done, and they will work to find who did this. Because Boston is strong, people are good, and what happened is not ok. They will fight to show that this is not ok, and find who is responsible. 

Boston is not alone right now. All our hearts are there.

///Update: A great article about how we're geared to be helpers.

Life Lessons

The things I learned (or re-learned) this weekend:

• Gluing popsicles and spray painting are learned skills, because we had a much better experience with both those things for table #2. Nothing like our past spray painting experiences.

• It's still not smart to spray paint at night though, no matter how excited you are to finish a project.

• BYU students still play some of the best pranks I've ever heard of.
• Church is so much more fun when we hang out with the Naylors and their cute kids there.
• Rock band could potentially entertain us for hours, if we let it.

• Eating pizza for two meals in one day is a good thing.
• Eating an entire loaf of dilly bread by ourselves with this dinner is also a good thing.

• Ending the weekend is easier when Monday starts out beautiful:

• It is so hard to win concert tickets on the radio.
• Family is more important than anything else.
• These are serious contenders for my favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe, which I am on a quest for.

• Grocery shopping without your wallet doesn't work.
• If you're filling your cart with the same grocery list you filled it with 30 minutes prior (with a wallet now), it will take less than half the time. 
• This is my new favorite skin care product - it has replaced both my face wash and face lotion for 5 days straight now. No lotion for 5 days...you may not understand what a miracle that is, so just trust me.

• I love bike rides.
• This cat sleeps anywhere in any way for any amount of time. Sometimes I am so jealous of her life. Except for the being a cat part.

• It is actually possible to feel sorry for Kobe Bryant...this one is huge.
• Playing frisbee in our apartment complex has a magnetic effect on all little boys between the ages of 6 and 9 within 500 feet.
• It seriously is so hard to win concert tickets on the radio. Two more weeks of trying.
• And finally, my husband is so sweet and works so hard. But I already knew this one.

Wednesday Words

Some words to live by on this muggy Wednesday:

Have you ever learned how true this is? I think learning it is a constant process. For me, I learn this when I get exactly what I wish for, and then feel differently than I expected. There have been so many dreams, hopes, and wishes in my life that came true - and then left me a little confused. 

I remember planning on going to BYU my whole life. It was the only school I applied to. I wanted it, always knew it. So I packed my life in one car, left the life I'd worked hard to build, sat in a new empty dorm room... and wondered what exactly it was that I had been wanting all this time. I thought I came to the right spot, but I just wasn't finding it, whatever it was.

Those days were hard. I wasn't happy. I was lonely for the first time, even though I had seriously great and patient friends. Those girls will always have a special place in my heart because of that year, and the years after. They were with me as I learned this tough lesson. Life doesn't turn happy when you get to where you planned, or revamp your circumstances, or get to the point where you thought happiness would be waiting there to meet you. 

Life is happy from the inside. It's happy when you're happy with yourself, happy with God. It's happy when you're focusing on what really matters, and focusing on the people you love. Life is so happy. But you are your own source of that feeling. Making a happy life will always come with the hard days and rough spots. But all that matters is remembering that you can make you happy, starting from exactly where you are.

And don't worry, I did eventually learn why I needed to be at BYU. I love that place, and miss it. When I stopped waiting for it to magically make me happy, and I made myself busy with what you should be busy with, it became exactly what I always hoped it would be.

Funny how that works.

Letters

We love mail. We check it almost every day. And usually our box is 60% full of mail for people who never changed their address, but that doesn't even take away from our love for it. That's because some days you get gems like this:

A letter from my best friend, who's serving as a missionary in Wisconsin. I love her! And I have really missed her the last 12 months. Just 6 more months to go until we have one serious catch up phone call. Then to add to the joy of the letter, my friend from my DC internship group sent me this picture:

She is on the right, decorating cookies with two Sister Missionaries in her new place in Madison. The cute pink-scarfed missionary in the middle is my friend Kindal! I love that their paths crossed, and that I could see how happy they all look. 

It made me think of all the times I spend with missionaries out here in Indiana, whether we're eating dinner at our house or just driving them from here to there. It's fun to think about all the people who miss them and love them back home, and who would just love to see a picture of them or know what they're doing at the moment.

Missionaries are amazing.

Conference Weekend

We loved watching LDS General Conference this weekend. It started out on the highest note of all when they announced that my sweet home town, Cedar City, is getting its very own temple! I can't describe how happy that made my heart, instantly. Cedar has been hoping for a temple as long as I can remember (along with so many other places across the world), and my brother used to even say that he wouldn't get married until it was in the Cedar City temple. I'm sure that seven years of marriage and three kids later, he's glad he didn't stick to that goal. My parents drove by the temple site between conference sessions, and they said there were plenty of other people with the same idea. I am so excited to see what the Church does with their 23 new acres in the best city in America! (I'm not even biased.)

After a six-month break from our last Popsicle stick table experience, we went back to our conference activity of choice and started on number two. One Popsicle table is never enough, right? 

We're over halfway done, and I gave myself the same deadline I gave my kitchen wall. Spring has instilled a fresh determination in me to finish projects around here...(so I can start new ones). :) But to be honest, out of the things we built this weekend, that is not what I am most excited about...

THIS is a sneak peek at the new PANTRY we finally put together in our kitchen. We have had a cereal box/granola bar corner thing going on since we moved in, and it was almost starting to feel like that's a normal thing. But after checking Craigslist almost every.single.day since October-ish, we finally found the one. It was a big moment. Especially because it came moments before we were about to buy a pantry that was more expensive, poorer quality, and from not-nice people. It isn't fun to give money to not-nice people. So, stay tuned for pictures of a kitchen with clean corners, coming soon. I know you're on the edge of your seat.

p.s. THIS was my very favorite talk from Conference this weekend. You can read, watch, or listen to the talks online if you missed any. Or dozed off a little. No judging here...we have some definite Saturday afternoon catching up to do.