The Great Flood of 2024

This week... fun times and not so fun times!

We caught up on things at the beginning of the week, then Kelbre watched the younger boys Wednesday while we took the older to down to Denver to meet cousins and go to dinner and Frozen. Such a fun night out with them! They really loved the show. We hit some serious traffic on the way down so getting there was a little stressful but I laughed noticing how Westin and Bennett felt zero stress. It's good to be a kid.

Thursday we went out with two other couples for dinner and trivia night. But one round of questions in and we got a call from our babysitter that we never get a call from... she told me that there had been a flood in our half bath on our main level and there was about an inch of water through the entryway, hall, bathroom, into our piano room... she was putting the younger two to bed upstairs while the toilet just ran and ran. We rushed home, her mom had helped clean up the water that was there, but we knew it was totally wet where we couldn't see. The guy who installed our flooring quickly sent me a contact for someone that does flood repair, and he came out that night and pulled off baseboards and some floorboards up and drilled some drywall out of our ceiling basement so we could get fans going all those places all weekend. Sooooo painful, in so many ways. We were chatting about kids (he has 5 around our same ages) and I told him our second kiddo caused the flood. He said, "My second would've been the one to do it too." Haha birth order, man. We hope we can get our house put together before we take off to Florida but my hopes aren't very high.

On Friday we met a few other families at the park and the kids all ran around while we all took turns playing pickleball. I loved seeing lots of friends that night, summer has felt so fast and busy. Asher took a football hard to the head that night and Meg got her leg stuck in the playground railing, but, those were the only casualties :)

Saturday was our second (and last!) swim meet of the summer, and the boys really had fun doing their races. Camden did not have fun being a spectator for almost 3 hours. Many snacks were had. Then Saturday night we had the same babysitter from Flood Night (brave girl!) and went to play pickleball and eat dinner with the Dimonds. We had so many fun plans this week because it felt like we'd all been traveling all of June and now we're all back in town. I loved catching up with Colby and Diane.

Sunday we watched lots of Euro Cup and Copa América games, then made rolls and salad for a ward linger longer. We had a little incident at the end of linger longer that will forever instantly remind me how much work four little kids are, and I won't write it out here because someday they'll be four big humans... but when I read this, I'll always remember. Sometimes Michael and I just literally look at each other and say, "What is our life?" But we also say it out of love :)

The day after he taught himself to ride his bike, he couldn't wait to get back on it.
He rode it up and down our street for literal hours. Probably over four.

Ice cream after dinner, but protect it from the dog at all costs.

Bike to work day!
Even thought none of these people are going to work today.
But will ride for Chick-Fil-A sandwiches.

Camden's face was being particularly dramatic about this haircut,
but he wasn't whining or complaining at all,
and the combo was just making me laugh.

Asher's curls! He skipped the last couple haircut rounds because I just love them.
But, he was so sweaty after all his bike rides.
Time for a fresh cut before Florida.

Sometimes I wait for naptime on Wednesdays to run my errands for a little solitude.
These three heard my plan and wanted in on it.
So we found solitude together :) :)

We turned around at dinner in Denver and spotted these cousins at the bar hahaha.
I thought it was hilarious that the bartender hadn't kicked them off. They were watching Mr. Bean haha.

First big show!
They really loved it.
Thought Bennett asked during intermission if they were real people, so,
I think the whole concept was just kind of blowing their minds.

A fun night in the city with our cute older boys.

A free concert with Dr. Noize and noisy he was.
He had a song unknowingly go number one on a Satellite Radio kids station,
then got a call asking if he did kids shows and he said yes.
He hung up and his wife was like, "No you don't?" And he said, "Now I do!"
Haha he was very entertaining and the kids loved it.

Got this picture from our cute neighbor down the street.
They have a sign in their window that says S or NS 
(Snack or No Snack)
So the kids know when they can knock on the door and ask for a popsicle. 
They're so cute.

Dinner outside to skip the clean up.

Oh that dear new floor.
Didn't think we'd see our old floor so soon.

And some new holes in the new basement. This flood was a total pain.

These fans were so loud. We had about 5 running downstairs and upstairs from Thursday night to Monday morning.

A Friday guided nature walk.
First sighting of a rattlesnake in the wild!

I loved that this was mostly older people and my kids.
Everyone had such a nice time.

Asher wanted to kick a pinecone with me the whole.time.

This guy was fun to spot.

This ranger found and preserved a bighorn sheep skull,
and she loved telling the story. The boys thought it was so cool.

Bennett met his swim goal this summer! Date night with mom.

His goggle ears and his banana snack were just making me laugh so much.

So then he embraced it.

Michael timed Lane 1 the whole day and Westin had that lane for his first race.
"Dad, shave off 10 seconds!" Haha.

Our sweet hoarder.
This post-date night check made us both laugh,
so many little pieces of his life surrounding him. SO many :)

My rolls rose :) This was cracking Westin up.

Girls Camp & Summer Days

I've been talking with Kindal's good friend in St. George a lot and we keep mentioning how strange it feels to do our routine things when life has changed so much so quickly for Kindal. She was on my mind through all of this week.

The drive home from Utah on Sunday was smooth, and sad. I spent the drive kind of coordinating if I'd even be able to get up to Girls Camp or not since my parents were now not coming. I had originally planned on going the full three days, but ended up just going up and back the middle day thanks to a friend kindly watching my boys the whole time Michael was at work.

Being at girls camp was good for my soul. I was so impressed with those girls. They led the camp, ran the camp, took care of each other, were so good to each other, and everyone had such a good time. I just really felt lucky to be there with them. And it was very good for me to unplug for a day. I have been on my phone so much talking with so many people about Kindal, coordinating lots of things, and just feeling lost. Unplugging really was a good reset.

On Friday we celebrated the Strawberry Moon with strawberry milkshakes on the Gregorys' roof, with the Behunins too. The clouds didn't get the memo but the night was still so fun. We went on a bike ride around the neighborhood after in the dark, with glow sticks on, and my boys thought it was so fun.

Saturday was our first swim meet of the season, early morning and long time at the pool. I did seeding all day and luckily Michael didn't end up having to do the timing he signed up for, so he was Asher duty. Then he took them all to a primary activity while I finished up volunteering, and the boys had a totally great time having water balloon fights and games with a lot of guys from our ward. Multiple sweet older men told me the next day that they sure had a lot of fun with my kids, which I correctly interpreted as my kids got them super wet and were relentless. Bless good friends.

 Saturday night we watched Monsters Inc. on the big screen in the CSU stadium and the boys thought that was pretty cool. My favorite part was that fake turf has no real bugs :) A summer night out with no mosquito bites?? Unheard of.

Sunday night we did a potluck with our neighborhood -- our street, the next street over, and a few other random houses around. We have such a nice neighborhood crew. The best part was that while we were chatting, Camden just up and taught himself how to ride his pedal bike. What?? Michael had tried to teach him the day before, I had tried that day, and he was just not into us teaching him at all. But then we look over and he's just kicking down the street on it like it's a balance bike, then he's just pedaling. What a stud.

Life always pauses for garbage truck sightings.

These cuties keep giving me extra hugs and kisses when they notice I'm sad.
My heart is with Kindal, and they are just so sweet to share so much love.

These girls. They were so amazing at Girls Camp. 
So good to each other, so good at leading camp. I admire them so much.

Friendship bracelets!
If only we were making them for a Taylor Swift concert.
That tour needs to wrap up so I can wrap up my FOMO :)

That missing front tooth look!
Benny boy is getting bigger.

If my kids look miserably hot it's because they are.
But I made them go to an outdoor piano concert with me.
Next time we'll get there earlier to get some shade!

So hot, but still so sweet.

They were back in good spirits with a little AC and a trip to the car wash.

We rolled out of bed Saturday morning and walked straight over to the boys' swim meet.
Those 6:45 call times, man... But I mean, we're up anyway :) Haha it just still sounds so early.

Bennett's first meet! Westin was pretty nervous for his first meet of the season but he did great.

Westin asked me to take this picture of him in front of the football stadium and send it to Dallin Holker :) He's a forever fan!

Monsters Inc. on the stadium field.
I love that movie. And I love that there were zero bugs because it's turf and not grass.

Camden just up and teaching himself to ride a pedal bike during our neighborhood dinner.

We have a good crew of neighbors.
It's hard to get together but we did a Sunday dinner outside and it was fun to catch up with everyone.

Total Heartbreak

This week was so heavy. Early Sunday morning I got a call from Kindal, which was unusual and I immediately was worried when I answered. It was her mom, letting me know that Carter had passed away in his sleep in the night. I was in total shock on my bathroom floor. Michael was at church at meetings already. My body just went through the motions getting my kids ready and getting them into church, feeling like I couldn't even fully comprehend or process that news until I could just manage to be alone.

I planned on getting through church and telling Michael after so that I wouldn't have to hold it together, but when I saw him I instantly fell apart. I left him and the kids in church and went out to my van, and laid on the floor of it and just sobbed. We had two cars at church but it never even crossed my mind that I could go home, it didn't even feel like something I was capable of. I just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed for Kindal. Everything felt unreal and upside down and horrible. 

Michael came out after he managed to leave Asher in nursery (he still takes a good 30 minutes with one of us in there with him), and sat with me until church was almost over, and then I was able to drive home before everyone was done with classes. One of Kindal's friend's in St. George called me later that day and was my lifeline of information and knowing how Kindal was doing during those terrible first days. My heart hurts just writing this. Kindal has carried so much.

The week was just an absolute daze. I helped with the GoFundMe and a lot of sweet souls were really spreading and sharing Kindal's illustrations as a way to support her right now, which had me packaging hundreds and hundreds of book orders in my basement. That physical work felt numbing and so deeply bittersweet and I just lost myself in it most nights. We made plans to be at Carter's service that Saturday, and I worked closely with another friend from high school to coordinate some other ways to help Kindal and Rosie have what they need right now and in the coming months. Lisa is our senior class president and had some wonderful systems set up almost immediately, and I was so grateful for her clear headedness and the way she just gets things done. 

Tuesday was the day the news really was known and the GoFundMe launched and that day was so heart wrenching. Just endless messages of what happened, how can I help, how's Kindal, what can we do, what's next, questions I didn't have answers to and didn't have the strength to field, all while knowing they were all coming from a place of love and people are so good.

We left on Friday, after Michael worked that day and after watching Bennett and Westin in their acting camp play of Peter Pan. After our first two-hour leg I had to drive the rest of the way because my anxious energy just needed to do something besides sit. We made it to Ali's around midnight. 

The next morning Ali and Michael and I were planning to go to the service, while my boys were in Lehi. My parents would be meeting us in Deseret later at the Eliason family reunion and then coming home to my house the next day to watch my boys while I went to girls camp. I was already wondering if I could even mentally manage girls camp at that point, but knew it was something I should try to make happen. 

Early that morning, we found out my dad had gone to the hospital that night thinking he was having a heart attack. It turned out to be a pulmonary embolism, and he stayed there through the weekend to manage that and get some more tests done. We were so worried about him. And we were grateful he was getting help and that things weren't worse.

We made it to the service in Midway later that morning, and finally seeing Kindal and hugging each other is the absolute saddest moment of my life. My sweet friend. I just don't understand. I love her so much.

I don't know that I've ever felt heaven closer than at Carter's service. After Kindal and Rosie played a song together on their violin and cello, Kindal told us all that she used to hate wind but Carter gave her a kite every Easter, and every windy day he'd ask her if they should go fly one. So we'd brought dozens of kites that day and she wanted us to all fly them with Rosie after the service. While she shared those sweet thoughts there was absolutely zero wind, and I remember even feeling angry about that. But the second we picked up those kites and ran through the grass through cemetery, suddenly our hair was blowing in the wind and the kites were taking flight everywhere. The first one that took flight was Rosie's, and it was immediately surrounded again and again by a hawk flying around. Kindal and Carter named their little boy they lost a few years ago baby William Hawk Ridd. And they were just both there together, with Kindal and Rosie. That sweet family. I hate that they're apart. I hate that life feels upside down right now. I hate the heaviness Kindal has had to carry. She is such a light, even through it all.

Four of the kites broke off their handles and just kept flying. They didn't fall. They just kept going and all of their strings got caught in trees in the distance and those kites just kept flying, all while we were there being with each other. Sweet Rosie. I hope she can have memories of how close her dad and brother were that day, and countless more experiences of feeling them that close again.

I took a picture of the sky through my van window after crying in my car for over an hour.
There aren't many moments in life that I manage to truly "wrestle with God" from any source of emotion,
but that day I did. Sometimes "life isn't fair" just does not convey the pain, and it forces you to really come to terms with what you believe. It's a never-ending process.

Life keeps moving when your head is in a daze and your heart is broken.
These boys were patient with me this week. My eyes were constantly crying on and off, I was distant, I was short with them, I was sad. They were so sweet. They did swim team and acting camp and helped each other and prayed for Kindal and Rosie and even the little ones gave me plenty of extra hugs and kisses. Kids know.

Asher asked me more than ever this week, "Mama you play with me?" Because I think that's a two-year-old's way of trying to make you feel better.
We played a lot of this fishing game, where I'd mostly just watch him slowly catch them all.
He'd look up and always ask, "Are you cute, or sad?" Haha sweet boy. I guess I can't be both ;)

I love this family.

Love for Kindal, pouring in.
My boys packaged hundreds of books with me this week. They are so sweet to help so much.

Westin met his first swimming goal,
which meant picking anything he'd like at Sprouts.
In the end he couldn't decide between sushi or apricots, so we were wild and got both of them for lunch.

I got a babysitter for Friday and went and got my haircut,
which I never get a babysitter for. But I just finally knew I needed to be alone a little bit before we took our road trip that afternoon. I cried the whole way there and home, and even a lot in the chair, but hairdressers have luckily heard and seen it all and there wasn't any judgment :)

Pirate #1 in his acting debut!

And the little Lost Boy narrator.

Finally seeing Kindal. We just held each other for so long and she lost all her strength.
We have held each other up through so much but this just feels like so much.
I'm so sad for her.

I'll never hear Twinkle Twinkle Little Star the same.
These two are so loved, from here and from heaven.

I'll never forget flying these kites.
Heaven was just right here.

I am so anxious to see Kindal again and to figure things out one day at a time with her.

My brother's family had taken my kids down to Deseret with them to the Eliason family reunion,
then Michael and I rode down with the Boones to meet them all there.
Asher is always happy to be back with his daddy. 

Missing grandpa this weekend, happy he's getting to the bottom of what's been making him feel so fatigued and out of breath lately.

Passing my grandma's house will never not fill me with feelings.

This day was a lot.