This week was so strange with weather and smoke,
but I honestly loved the moody weather. I haven't been HOME and in cold weather in a long time. I only visited cold weather. So to be home in my sweats, making soup, watching snow fall from my windows, I was just giddy. That's probably partly because I knew it was going to warm right back up again in a couple days. I'm not READY ready for winter, but that little taste of it was so fun.
We came home from Keystone Monday night, and Michael had just a little bit going on at work on Tuesday and Wednesday. We had an online parent teacher conference with Westin's teacher and she's so sweet. Westin did school at our neighbor's house two days this week and he loved loading his backpack up and "going" to school. Bennett didn't want to do much with his class this week, but he did love his cutting practice during one of their small group days. He's coloring a lot while I paint and we're working on counting still. Camden is switching to one nap and not crying when he goes down at bedtime again, so that's a welcome change. It will make mornings feel a little long as we have to have him up during school now, but we'll bring back quiet time for the other two boys now during his nap and that's going to be great. On Saturday we did a homestead tour, looking at yards who grow lots of food and have chickens/bees. It was fun to see what people do with their space. We went to a neighbor's birthday party after and it was fun to meet their friends and get to know them more. We live by such friendly people. That night Michael and I went on a date to get Mexican food because there's just something in me that will forever associate birthdays with cheese enchiladas. The food wasn't great but it was better than NOT eating cheese enchiladas on my birthday date. But we'll try a new spot next time we go out for Mexican food. I spoke in church today (twice at two small sacrament meetings) about kindness and charity and I loved studying that topic all week. I'm putting my talk down below after the pictures.
I slowed down painting this week because I'm still making my window frames black, this time in the dining room, and that's just a slow tedious project. But after that I'll go on to edging the walls white and paint some actual walls this week! Painting walls is the best -- easiest, fastest, biggest impact of all the painting I do around here.
September is the best! I need a good fall candle!
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| Snow! Such a crazy drop in temps -- about 60 degrees in a day. |
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| My new toy came! Time to do some wall treatments around here! |
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| He had a preschool assignment to take pictures of different feelings and post them to his class page. First: Happy! |
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| Angry! (I see that smile Bennett, you can't fool me!) |
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| Silly |
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| Westin did school with his friend Jocie at her grandma's house a couple times this week. Bennett colored by me during my painting. If Camden's asleep, I'm painting! |
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| Getting Cam's workout in! |
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| Batman shirts! |
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| Bennett doesn't love online preschool, but he does like the smaller group work they sometimes do. This was a lesson on how to use his scissors and he nailed it :) |
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| Facetiming this cute girl! I watched her while Ali blowdried her hair haha. |
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| Bennett got tired on his bike but has to keep up with that speedy brother! He's got a smaller pedal bike coming his way for his birthday soon. |
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| Peeking for chickens! |
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| We found some barstools! I'm so excited to have a set spot for my kids to help me cook now. |
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| First time wearing shoes! At almost 14 months old haha. Dressing babies is overrated. White onesies for life. |
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| We knew this would happen sooner or later... It's not going to be the last haha. |
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| Sometimes we walk to get lunch at the school, and Westin was thrilled to see a spork in his bag. He has been so excited to make his own forky ever since. |
“Kindness in Hard Times”
Introduction:
Southern Utah & Southern Indiana. Youngest, family in Utah. Five sisters, family all over. Both went to BYU, would have never met on campus because Microbiology and Communications. Luckily, both to BYU Jerusalem Center. Airport, weight limit and more bags, my mom’s first words ever spoken to Michael were, “Don’t let her corrupt you.” Jury’s out on where we stand there. After semester abroad, dated through my last year at BYU, then internship in DC. Michael finished, Event planning in Provo, married Jordan River Temple in 2012. Immediately moved to Indianapolis, dental school and Healthcare marketing. Westin born, home with him. Fresno for oral surgery residency, had Bennett. Camden last summer. Researched where we could be central to family, have a good life with lots of outdoor time. Fort Collins feels like our good forever fit, loved it so far.
Today I was asked to speak about a topic that has actually been heavy on both my mind and heart for months. Specifically, about kindness and charity during this year that feels particularly trying and divisive.
Matthew teaches us that our first commandment is to love God with all our heart, and the second is to love each other that same way. These two commandments are the foundation of all we are asked to do. As I reread further in Mathew we learn the Savior said “Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye did it NOT to one of the least of these, ye did it NOT to me.” Are there times when we withhold kindness, for whatever reason? That can be different than being unkind, but doing it not unto others is doing it not unto Christ.
We probably all have a memory of a bold, or even more likely, a small, act of kindness that made an impact on our life. What if we withheld kindness that could have been that for someone? What we do NOT unto others we do NOT unto Christ. Learning to receive revelation, then acting on that, is critical to do unto others what Christ would. I could list multiple acts of kindness right now that probably seemed insignificant to the giver. They would probably be surprised to hear the way I remember them. But they weren’t aware of my circumstances at the time, or the prayers I was praying. And so often God answers our prayers through His servants. In residency I spent a lot of time alone with my children, while Michael had an incredibly busy schedule. We became very good at eating meals with just each other, and keeping super flexible expectations about when we’d be able to spend time with Michael. At one point I had a health issue come up that needed weekly physical therapy appointments, and I immediately knew I would not be able to make that happen because of childcare. One of my best friends, who was 83, and my bread-making mentor, asked me one day if there was any time that week that I could use someone to watch my boys during the day. I was so surprised to have her kind spontaneous offer that first week I had an appointment. When I came home, she learned more about where I’d been, and told me to plan on her once a week for as long as I needed. She spent two hours weekly with my young boys at a time when I had no family around, and she made it possible to take care of myself in a way I never could have without support. She repeatedly told me it was no big thing, but she will never understand how big of a difference that made to my life during that stage. Or maybe: story of LoRane watching my kids during physical therapy, or story of Ami Bunker taking Westin out so I could hear Michael speak, or story of Becca and the avocado, or story of Westin sharing his fish food with Bennett, or story of the woman at the donut shop in Keystone, or….
Like with tithing, blessings always come back to us more than we give. Kindness is our commandment, happiness is the blessing. We don’t need to worry about how that connects with the person who received our kindness. It’s not our job to determine if they were deserving of it, or grateful enough for It, or if they responded to it the way we expected — everything else is all up to the Lord. Our reward comes from Him, and not always in the way we expect to see it. Our actions are all that we can control. He takes care of all that needs to be taken care of. Christ taught it is “More blessed to give than to receive”. True for kindness in our marriages, families, friendships. It’s not our job to measure or keep track — if we are kind, and live like Jesus, all else will be taken care of by Him. Kindness will always be the right way to handle a situation in parenting or in marriage. Our children are always deserving of kindness. We should not mistake kindness for weakness, in others or ourselves.
The other thought on my mind regarding charity, is that we need to teach kindness in new ways because there are so many new ways to be mean. We keep in touch with others very differently now. It’s possible to know more about each other’s opinions and beliefs than ever before. “Be Kind” is being taught and focused on more than when I was growing up, but that can’t stop in our online presence. If we’re teaching and striving for kindness, does that extend to the memes we’re sharing or the judgments we’re forming of others with differing beliefs? We’re entering a phase of such casual casting of stones, which can desensitize us from the unkindness that is becoming normal. Be kind to those who are different from you. Better yet, learn from those who are different than you. When we keep our hearts, and ears, and minds open, we will be better able to have pure love for each other.
I’ve been spending hours painting ever since we moved into our new home. This week, I turned on conference talks focused on kindness during those late nights of painting. I heard a distinct pattern in the way that President Hinckley concluded multiple sessions of conference. He always asked us to leave being a little kinder, a little softer in our voices, our hearts a little more open to seeing the worth and needs of others. I can feel how important that is for our situation right now. Socially, politically, mentally, we are all being stretched. Being kind will help that more than we can even know.
Gordon B. Hinckley gave a talk called “The Dawning of a Brighter Day”. After discussing how heavy the war in heaven must have been before we each came here, He said, “Perilous times? Yes. These are perilous times. But the human race has lived in peril from the time before the earth was created. Somehow, through all of the darkness, there has been a faint but beautiful light. We must do all that is required in moving forward the work of the Lord in building His kingdom in the earth. We can never compromise the doctrine which has come through revelation, but we can live and work with others, respecting their beliefs and admiring their virtues, joining hands in opposition to the sophistries, the quarrels, the hatred—those perils which have been with man from the beginning.”
My 5-year-old has been known to declare a day the best day of his life, and then the worst day of his life, within 30 min of each of those statements. More than once. I find myself relating to that more than ever, though. These are our own perilous times, the best of times and worst of times. There are silver linings to the clouds that are over us right now. Each of us have different pains and different blessings that are coming from this unique year. I know that kindness, and hearing the Spirit, will allow us to dwell on the positive and increase the positive for others. I know that it won’t always fix everything. But a favorite quote framed in our home is No Kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.
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