On Motherhood

 Happy Mother's Day!

This year I asked for two Ps -- peace and a picture. Getting in and out of church somehow always feels too crazy to stop for that photo but today I wanted to have a picture with these boys I love so much. They have made me a mother and I've reflected on that blessing all day.

Westin is a thinker. Always inquisitive and observant, quick to pick up on things and quick to want to. He loves to learn, loves to help, and he is an absolute sweetheart to his babiest brother Asher. I tell him frequently that Asher is so lucky to have him, and the other day he said, "Do you really mean that?" I wish I could have better explained how much I truly mean it, but I tried. These boys are lucky to have Westin as their oldest brother. I know being the oldest comes with some short ends of the stick, like being the guinea pig for Michael and me, but we love him so much. He wants to do what's right. He wants to understand so much. He loves a good game. I love being Westin's mom.

Bennett has the sweetest soul. He observes feelings and people, and has been cheering up people who need it from the time he was just months old. He works hard to be understood, but I have never once heard him complain about that. Last week after yet another hour of doing his best with his speech therapist, and doing all he's asked without complaining, he took my hand on our walk out and said, "My mouth is tired." That is the most I have heard Bennett reference all the hard work he puts into growing his intelligibility, and I loved his little hard-working soul so much in that moment. He loves being a friend. He tells me I'm the best and that he loves me multiple times every day. He says a simple, "Sure," whenever I ask him to do a quick favor. He looks for my hand every time we are walking, but doesn't complain when a younger brother needs them sometimes. I love being Bennett's mom.

Camden is a people person, and a hilarious little goofball. He remembers everyone's names. He calls everyone his friend. He wants Michael and I around but he's working on being ok with nursery and babysitters. When we left on a date this week he started to cry, but then said, "I'm not gonna cry, I'm better. I'm better." Then pushed our car out and waved, and I was so impressed watching his little self work on growing up right in front of me. He loves to run around outside with his brothers, makes the goofiest little villain laugh when he pretends he's going to "eat you up!" or whatever else he's joking around about, and he needs a hit of fruit snacks every morning, preferably while watching Daniel Tiger. His bedtime needs are a long list of little maddening details that are funny after the fact, but if you get them all right he's a cozy cute boy and goes right down. I love being Camden's mom.

Asher. He turned 6 months old on Mother's Day which was really inconsiderate of him. My heart just wants to freeze him more than I've ever had that feeling before. He is so pure and such a sweet little guy. I love making him laugh and I don't even mind our 1-2 feeds in the night when it's just us and everyone is sleeping. He is my first stomach sleeper -- truly never ever slept on his back much at all. He goes down easily but sleeps shorter stretches since we ditched the swaddle. He rolls onto his stomach pretty quickly when on his back, but rarely rolls from stomach to back. No teeth yet. Needs to taste an avocado soon but I always avoid starting solids with my kids... it just feels like the end of the baby era and I put it off. He has started gazing lovingly at Michael more and I try to put a stop to that because he needs to be a mama's boy until at least 2 :) He loves his brother's so much. He has angel eyes. I love being Asher's mom.

My first Mother's Day with all my boys and it was peaceful in a way I've never really felt before. Just content with the small stuff today. They are a joy to watch grow up. I know I don't always stay in this headspace through the long days and there are plenty of hard parts, but being their mom is truly a privilege and a beautiful thing.

Grateful for our moms today too, and I've been missing my grandmas extra. I called my friend LoRane Wallwork today who was my sweet older friend in Fresno and wished her a happy Mother's Day. She represents so perfectly to me the way we can all mother each other when we just see the needs others have that we can meet. I love her. 

I especially loved our Sacrament meeting today. Our friend that teaches Gospel Doctrine every other time with me gave a beautiful talk about divine attributes of Motherhood, and about our Heavenly Mother and the way Christ must have been loved perfectly before He could love perfectly, by His Heavenly Parents. I said the closing prayer and prayed that we could all recognize the ways women show us love, and recognize the love our Heavenly Mother has for all of us, and that anyone who has pain attached to this sometimes difficult day can feel that love a little extra.

I am just extra grateful for the women I am blessed to have as friends and family today. I love them so much.

A rare time he fell asleep while eating, since he goes down awake now.
It's hard to believe all those naps and nights on his side on the nursing pillow next to me are already a memory.

Westin has been showing me skewer desserts in his Highlights magazine for weeks and wanting to make them. I finally gave them pancake fruit skewers for dessert randomly one night and Westin was laughing at the extra whipped cream version.

He terrorized lots of kids and dogs at school drop off with this shark puppet that Teresa brought home from Florida. So funny.

I still see quite a lot of resemblance between these two,
though Asher does have his own look.

Just a happy boy

Such big smiles lately

Cute brothers making baby happy during a bank errand.

Cried for 30 seconds after I left him in nursery, before snapping into happy and playful mode and saying,,
"I get better fast!"

We are not getting the best pictures around here lately...
Camden looks like he's pooping. Michael said "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit."
Haha we just keep laughing at it.

Bennett's Sunday school teachers brought flowers for them to give to their moms and helped them make cards. I thought that was so sweet.

I love these boys.

Happy Mother's Day!

Also, I always say I'll interview my boys on their birthdays, but birthdays are always so crazy. Beginning of school is always so crazy. So I've decided it'll be my Mother's Day tradition. Just a cute quick interview with each kiddo, all on the same day, more efficient and a fun way to connect with them each Mother's Day and have a little snapshot of who they were each year. Their interviews were making us all laugh today.