Checking Off Days

These are not eventful days.

Covid, winter, newborn time, boards studying =

a whole lot of nothing going on.

But highlights from the week:
Michael coming home Monday night!
Making healthy food all week for the first week since Asher was born.
Bennett got to go back to school (for three days at least -- two-hour delay because of ice meant he was home Thursday again).
Asher's first 5.5 hour stretch of sleep, and half the victory was that I got 5 of those.
Westin swam allllmost the length of the pool at swimming lessons!
Westin went to his first basketball practice/game Saturday even though he was verrrrrry nervous. I'm trying to teach him that brave means doing things even when you're scared, not just not being scared at all, and he seems to take heart from that.
Less fighting, a little more outside time, a little more sleep, and another week of this high demand stage down :)

If I did a low points list I'd have to include the moment that Camden was REALLY mad at Bennett and when I intervened he turned to me and yelled, "You shut your mouth, mama!!!!" And no one is fessing up to teaching him that... he got his first time out, and that gave me a minute to secretly laugh at that even though it's also just so heartbreaking when they learn to be sassy. Stay tiny, Asher.

But, we won't include a low points list :)

Michael is super ready to be done studying. He takes boards in ooooone more week and the countdown around here is real. Westin is looking forward to making a shirt for the 100th day of school. Bennett is working hard on his letters with me but learning to read and learning to ride a bike feel like big hurdles to that little cutie right now. Camden seemed like a big kid this weekend when he was 85% cool with getting a haircut, compared to the 0% cool with it that he's been every single haircut up until now. I forgot we used to turn on a show while Westin got haircuts and it helped a ton, so we did that this time and it made a big difference. He and Westin are so similar in so many ways. We fed the missionaries this week for the first time since baby, and we have sisters now instead of elders. It was fun to get to know them but also, wow Michael and I felt very old after. We're not old. But we're not babies anymore.

Here's to getting through our last full week of January! Always an accomplishment to get the year rolling and make our way into Spring.

My view these days.

We're about to turn this closet into a pantry!
Cutest helpers. Westin wore safety goggles while we measured the walls :)

My kids just eat soo much.
Westin ate another one of these full plates and then half again.
They are growing!

Dinner helper. We make dinner in the mornings usually because Asher takes a good nap and I never know what afternoons and evenings are going to look like.

How many pictures do I have that look like this.... :)

So close to that laundry shoot. So close.

Camden loves to say "Mama, 'nuggle me!"
(Snuggle me.)
He says it to daddy all the time, and even Westin, and Westin is the cutest big brother to this kid.

These two have a sour patch style relationship...
So sweet, so sour, so sweet, back to so sour.

Swagger walk to school.

A cozy winter newborn life, even with these big brothers to keep up with.

Flying Solo

Writing this means we survived without Michael for four days! He gets home tonight from Nashville where he did a few days of a crash review course getting ready for his upcoming oral boards. It was fun for him to see his residency friends and probably fun to have a break from bedtime -- amiright -- but it was a lot of info poured onto him gearing up for one big stressful final test. 

Bennett was home from school this week because of positive Covid cases in his class, and Westin somehow got to keep going even though half his class was positive or quarantined. They keep them in groups at school so if a case is positive then just the people in close quarters with them have to quarantine, where Bennett's class is considered one big group since 3-5 year olds are not pros at keeping masks on. Except, by now, yes they are. So, Bennett did virtual school this week and I was more attentive to him and his mute/unmute needs while I was a house painter early last school year than when I was a nursing newborn mom but, we did our best. 

We had a really hard day with Westin this week and his hard time with transitions spilled over into school and all I want to take away from it is -- I'm grateful for support in my kids' lives from other teachers and counselors and leaders who know them, and I'm also super grateful for the awesome kid Westin is. He is smart and an old soul and inquisitive and working through his hard things with him is privilege because he's a special soul. We have our hard days but watching him grow up is a really incredible experience. I wish I was more confident in what the right thing to do is with parenting a lot of time but I know the bottom line right thing at all times always always is to just love them. 

Bennett is working through his reading book with me, Camden is working hard at learning to not scream, and Asher is giving us all more smiles every day and we're loving it. He had a couple great nights of sleep this week and a couple that I saw every hour of the night on my phone and I've noticed with all four of my babies that even though my many prayers don't seem to put them back to sleep in the night, they DO seem to help me not be very tired the next day even when I'd expect to barely be able to function. So I'm grateful for that.

We met our friend's new puppy and Camden wasn't too sure,
while Bennett was completely head-over-heels smitten.

Sometimes he stays in the exact same sleeping position after a feeding is done like a cute little statue and it's my favorite.

A little bundle.

Dark eyes like his oldest bro! But kind of his own look apart from that these days.

Bennett wanted to make a picture for grandpa

"We're leaving the house? We don't do that much at all... are you sure about this?"

Studying and holding babies. He's done this for hours over years and years.

Happy little sweetheart

Camden's big into measuring things lately,
and brings me this all the time for me to pull a few inches out for him so he can go on his way and 
"do some measure stuff!"

My lunch dates.

I had a phone meeting with an accountant this week (the side of all this fun book stuff that I do NOT enjoy) and it looked like this on my end. Tricky times.

Bennett gave Camden Lite Brite and Spot It lessons this week and it was adorable.

Westin had a friend come home from school with him one day this week to play and everyone in our house loooooved it. This sweet kid wasn't quite sure about all of the attention though (he's the youngest of four boys). At one point he said to Westin, "Do you hate being an older brother??" I laughed inside and then melted when Westin said, "Well, it's hard when we fight and stuff but mostly I really love it!"

When you think you've put everything away in this house...
you never have. We worked super hard Saturday to clean and put EVERYthing away and I told the boys they could choose dinner and a movie that night if we did a good job (they went with burgers and The Incredibles), then I saw this snake after all our efforts and felt like it was mocking me haha.

He's super into sharing daddy's chair after he gets out of his high chair,
and this week I had to do.

2014 vs. 2022

This was our Sunday best today... don't judge us.
Caught sacrament meeting on Zoom and Bennett wanted to know where all the conference treats were.

Michael back with his Fresno peeps!
He had such a friendly residency program.

 

Surviving

Well.... you can tell by the amount of pictures I took this week that it was pretty uneventful around here.

We have the winter/baby tied-down-blues. But we'll get back out in the world again.

The boys had Monday off so Michael took them to a butterfly garden an hour south, plus a Red Robin lunch on the way home. Asher and I stayed home and had some nice quiet house time together.

Walking or driving the boys to school is such a to do. If it's walking, it's three pairs of boots and coats and hats and gloves and back packs and masks, plus time the baby's feeding and bundle him up and get him situated in my carrier and then get him warm, then get me warm, then get us out the door for a snowy walk that normally takes me 6 minutes but with all kids in the snow takes me 17 one way. Camden refuses gloves or takes them off and then cries because his hands are cold and won't walk through the snow unless I'm holding his hand, and twice this week I didn't do my wrap quite right so I had to keep a hold on Asher in the wrap and couldn't hold Camden's hand very easily, then he fell down one day and wanted to be carried and it took us 25 minutes to walk home while I just repeatedly told him I couldn't. SOO then we drove on Friday and getting all of them in four car seats and out of 3 car seats when we get home feels just barely even easier. And once I'm done I time it all again for 3 hours later, then time it all again for 3 hours later, and it sounds like nothing if you haven't been there and it makes for the most ridiculous of days. I asked Westin if I could homeschool him for just the rest of first grade and he was 0% interested in that. I can't blame him, but I do think it sounds like such a better day and better use of time than what we're doing.

Asher hit two months yesterday! He has a doctor's appointment this week to see how he's growing, I have one this week to see how I'm healing, and honestly I think we could both be doing a better job at those... He still fits in the clothes we brought him home from the hospital in, which I've never had a baby stay that small for that long. And I feel like I am not healing well inside and I hope beyond hope that it's just a slow recovery and not a recovery that will need some assistance. I've been reading all about hernias this week and feeling so discouraged.

So, not an exciting week over here and not our brightest of times. We fight too much. We all feel antsy. We're tired of Covid. It feels like winter just started even though when Christmas ends is when you feel done with winter. We're not sleeping enough, we're not talking kindly enough, we're not enjoying each other as much as we should. Just the real talk over here. The salt in all these wounds was the night this week when a smoke alarm went off at 3 in the morning which then set off our main BLARING house alarm, which has gone off twice in its life, reminding us that the previous owners accidentally left us the wrong code for that alarm and we can't disarm it. So it was blaring for minutes, and miraculously none of our four boys woke up and it happened right in the middle of one of Asher's longest stretches of sleep. It reminded me of when the SWAT team woke me up during Westin's first long stretch of sleep in Manchester Village in Indiana, and Michael was so intrigued and invested in the neighbor situation and I was just bitter beyond belief that the SWAT team had to choose THAT NIGHT to involve themselves.

Sleep is important.

We need something to look forward to, which might be a Yellowstone trip but we're trying to figure out if the timing will work. We'll see. I just know we'll look back on this stretch and think "Oof, remember that..." and I don't want to label it all as that. I want to have better days with each other. Asher is the absolute sweetest and the brightest part of everything for me right now. His smiles really melt my heart, which is needed between what feels like constant nagging for help and pleading for quiet. :/

Here's to getting through January and February!

Camden was committed to this burger.

Tummy time has always been hated by all my kids.

I made zucchini baked oats this week and was obsessed with them.
Eating them each day was what I looked forward to on all my walks to school.
Put some almond creamer and fruit and peanut butter on there and it's dessert!

Bundled.

"I'm gonna make some pages for your next book!"
Haha sweet Bennett boy. We did his reading book together every day this week except Saturday and he's doing great.

Feeling this.

When you obviously didn't mix the batter enough....
Flat, semi-flat, and fluffy.
These "lactation" cookies are basically a less guilty feeling chocolate chip oatmeal cookie that I'm obsessed with right now.

 

Here we go, 2022!

The time warp between Christmas and New Year!

We finally got snow in Fort Collins. We spent the week doing puzzles and legos and lite brites and all the other fun things that came on Christmas. We had peaceful moments and heartbreaking contentious moments. We had days at home and the older boys had a museum day with dad. The times I am at home with Asher just the two of us feel like absolute treasured moments.

I loved seeing Westin's "year in review" filled out that I printed for him. Favorite things he did in 2021: go to a cabin with all the Daetwylers, and ride a sheep. Biggest accomplishment: 7 monkey bars. 2022 goal: all the monkey bars. I love this kid.

Bennett has such focus. Watching him do his Lite Brite and seeing how proud he was of his first creation was super joyful and sweet. He and Camden have been playing together so much. That equals lots of laughs and lots of screaming. Does wrestling ever end well? Asking for my future.

Camden slept through the night a few times. Last night was not one of those times. I find myself counting down his toddler days but then his cute moments make me feel guilty. When you go into his room in the morning, or after nap time, or during nap time to tell him to take a nap, or during the night to tell him to stop screaming... you're always met with "Good mOOOOrning mommy!" And it does soften your heart a little, but more in the actual morning. If Michael tries to go in a different room than Camden we usually have about 2 minutes before he frantically says "Where daddy go! Where daddy go! DADDY!" Michael should know better by now than to attempt such things.

Asher has some pretty ok nights and some very newborn-y nights. I think my blog posts sound like I'm obsessed with sleep right now. That's because I'm obsessed with sleep. When we get it, it's a much better day. 

New Year is one of my very, very favorite times. Fresh starts and goals and carrying good things from the past year and seeing how much changed or was accomplished the last few months. It's such a hopeful time.

I put Christmas away so much earlier this year. I felt like a lot of people posted about putting it away early too. I think we were all ready to get into this new year. I can't believe we're coming up on two years of Covid and all that it has come with. I remember distinctly thinking in March 2021 "are we really going to have to stay home three whole weeks? It's going to be that long?" Oh wow :) I feel so, so grateful to have the vaccines we've had since then and that my kids have been able to have them too. There were extreme fires south of us this week that wiped out neighborhoods. That's one of those things that you think could never happen to you. But the people who lived in those houses felt that very same feeling. Life can change so fast and I'm so grateful for my boys. 

He wanted me to take a picture every time it changed colors :)

Reading by the fire -- it was cold this week!

That Christmas overwhelm when you're mid-putting away

Phew.

Clean slate.

My neighbor brought me this plant and I just love it.
You don't water it or do a thing for it and the bulb sprouts and I'm so excited for it to blossom.

This sweet boy.
Don't let him fool you, he hates being put down anywhere :)

Garbage truck spotting

Oh Westin. I love you so much,
and I want to help you through all your big feelings.

Sweetest.

The boys played in the snow so much on Saturday! Shoveled all morning with Michael.
Kept playing. Shoveled with our neighbor in the afternoon. Kept playing. 
Went sledding with Michael.

Hot chocolate time!
Such a messy treat with kids haha.

Camden hasn't mastered putting his feet by the fire...
we were all cracking up so much.