Some words to live by on this muggy Wednesday:
Have you ever learned how true this is? I think learning it is a constant process. For me, I learn this when I get exactly what I wish for, and then feel differently than I expected. There have been so many dreams, hopes, and wishes in my life that came true - and then left me a little confused.
I remember planning on going to BYU my whole life. It was the only school I applied to. I wanted it, always knew it. So I packed my life in one car, left the life I'd worked hard to build, sat in a new empty dorm room... and wondered what exactly it was that I had been wanting all this time. I thought I came to the right spot, but I just wasn't finding it, whatever it was.
Those days were hard. I wasn't happy. I was lonely for the first time, even though I had seriously great and patient friends. Those girls will always have a special place in my heart because of that year, and the years after. They were with me as I learned this tough lesson. Life doesn't turn happy when you get to where you planned, or revamp your circumstances, or get to the point where you thought happiness would be waiting there to meet you.
Life is happy from the inside. It's happy when you're happy with yourself, happy with God. It's happy when you're focusing on what really matters, and focusing on the people you love. Life is so happy. But you are your own source of that feeling. Making a happy life will always come with the hard days and rough spots. But all that matters is remembering that you can make you happy, starting from exactly where you are.
And don't worry, I did eventually learn why I needed to be at BYU. I love that place, and miss it. When I stopped waiting for it to magically make me happy, and I made myself busy with what you should be busy with, it became exactly what I always hoped it would be.
Funny how that works.
Oh Maddie, we have some really good memories from BYU! We had fun, but I think it was YOU that had to be patient with all my shenanigans---dear heavens we had a lot of growing up to do haha. Love you, girl! I am so grateful we were roommates!
ReplyDeleteGreat read, Mad. I'm amazed at your insights so young. I don't think I have thought that through like you in the 40 additional years I have ahead of you. But maybe subconsciously I have, because I think I'm generally happy most of the time. Anyway, great read, as usual. So cool too that your friend met Kindal! Such a small world in the Church.
ReplyDeleteLoved! Happiness is definitely in the journey and not the destination! I loved how you wrote it~ it really hit home.
ReplyDeletePotatoes pearls in apartment lobbies.... And a whole bunch of Reese's peanut butter cups sure helped with the " what are we doing here!" ;)
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